


Laid Bare

by SisterSpooky1013



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s03e12 War of the Coprophages, Episode: s03e23 Wetwired, Episode: s07e05 Rush, Episode: s07e06 The Goldberg Variation, Episode: s07e07 Orison, Episode: s07e08 The Amazing Maleeni, F/M, Post-Episode: s07e04 Millenium, Post-Episode: s07e06 The Goldberg Variation, Post-Episode: s07e07 Orison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:20:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 31,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SisterSpooky1013/pseuds/SisterSpooky1013
Summary: How did things progress after Mulder and Scully’s first kiss?(This is a work in progress, currently chapters 1-27 posted with more to come)Takes place from Millennium to around the time of The Amazing Maleeni. References to Wetwired, Quagmire, War of the Coprophages and all eps in between Millennium and The Amazing Maleeni.I took some liberties with timeline, acting as though the episodes in season 7 happened close together. This doesn’t make sense with the season (it was definitely not winter when they were in Chicago for the Goldberg Variation) but just pretend, alright? :)
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic, and it’s not done yet. No one has read it but me, feedback welcome.

It was Friday afternoon and they were going through old X-Files, re-categorizing them per the request of AD Skinner. Mulder’s filing system was based around categories including “Apparitions,” “EBE’s” and “Psychic Surgery,” while Skinner preferred categories like “substantiated, “unsubstantiated” and “impossible to substantiate.” Even if Mulder didn’t appreciate the task itself, he did enjoy going through old files with Scully, remembering some of their past cases together. They had just concluded a lively debate over whether to put the “Big Blue” Georgia case under “unsubstantiated” or “impossible to substantiate.” Mulder argued that it was impossible to substantiate because Big Blue may actually be camouflaging itself, which would also explain why they aren’t able to see it before it crashed into their boat. Scully argued that it was unsubstantiated because it was a crocodile. One that also ate her dog, by the way. Mulder cringed remembering how much of an ass he’d been on that case, especially the way he brushed off Queequeg’s death. Scully saw the pained look on his face and decided not to poke at it further. She picked another folder from the top of the former “animal attacks” file and opened it. It was the cockroach case in Massachusetts, the one where Mulder had gone from flirtatious phone calls to hanging up on her when he ran into Bambi the entomologist. Now it was Scully’s turn to cringe as she recalled her childish behavior and how threatened she’d felt by the idea of Mulder spending time with a beautiful scientist who wasn’t her. It was one of the first times she’d admitted to herself that she felt possessive over him. She’d always been attracted to him; from the moment he spun around in his chair to let her know just how unhappy he was to have a new partner she had found his hooded eyes and mischievous smile incredibly sexy. But for a long time she was able to convince herself that’s all it was, basic animal attraction. When she realized Mulder was brushing her off for another woman, who turned out to be incredibly sexy herself, she was surprised by the feelings of jealousy that bubbled up into her throat. Back then she had absolutely no claim to him. He was free to date or sleep with whomever he liked, though he never did as far as she knew. 

But now, could she lay claim to him? They had kissed a few times, first at midnight on New Years Eve. That kiss had been a total surprise to her. She didn’t have time to build any anticipation or think about what it would mean. She just turned, and Mulder was kissing her. It was chaste and sweet and sent heat radiating from her lips to the backs of her knees. After they shared a smile, it immediately and abruptly became awkward. They stammered New Years greetings to each other and then turned to leave. Mulder put his uninjured arm around her shoulder as they walked out of the hospital and she stiffened in response. He read her body language as regret; he was sure that she was disgusted and horrified, and he wished he had a time machine so he could undo it. In reality, Scully was struck with the realization of what had just happened. She had just kissed Mulder, something she’d been fantasizing about for years. She reflexively put her defenses up, switched off her feelings and shut him out to keep herself from coming unraveled. It was something she was particularly skilled at; closing herself off when she was feeling vulnerable. Mulder had learned to give her space in these moments, most of the time not pushing her to let him in, save on rare occasions like the first time Pfaster took her. He could now read the difference between the times she wanted to let him in but wasn’t able to, and the times she really needed to be left alone. He didn’t always get it right, but he tried.


	2. Chapter Two

They had both been quiet while she drove him home from the hospital. He was trying to read her, to look for the signs that this was a time he should push. So far, he was pretty sure this was a “don’t push” occasion, with a decent chance that she was actually mad at him. As she pulled up in front of his building, he turned to look at her but she kept her eyes forward, staring through the windshield as though she were still driving, hands on the wheel at 10 and 2. 

“See you at work tomorrow?” He tried, his voice wavering and unsure. 

She turned slightly and he thought she was going to finally face him, but she stopped short, her eyes now trained on the glove box.

“I think I’m going to take the day off tomorrow, actually. Since we worked through the weekend” she said to the dashboard. 

“Oh…okay” 

He stared at the side of her face, needing to know they were okay before he got out of the car. He started again

“Scully, if I crossed a line back there, I’m so-“ 

she did turn her head then, sharply, cutting him off with her gaze. She held up a hand as if to push away the rest of what he’d been about to say. 

“no, Mulder. It’s okay. It was okay.” 

Here she managed a small smile. It was her tight lipped “I’m fine” smile, which he knew meant that she was probably NOT fine, but that she didn’t want him to worry about her. He smiled back weakly, letting her know that he accepted her answer, and that he’d drop it. 

“Okay.” He said, now in his typical timbre, scratchy with sleepiness. “Tuesday, then?” 

She nodded in response, letting just a hint of the smile stay on her lips. With a final nod he exited the car and closed the door without another look back. Mulder walked inside the building, his mind swimming with the events of the day as he called the elevator. He replayed the kiss in his head over and over, remembering the feel of her pout against his lips, soft and full, the content smile she’d given him after. He tried to mark the moment when her demeanor changed to see if he could figure out what caused it. As he entered his apartment he left all the lights off and walked first to the bathroom to relieve himself before flopping onto his bed, shifting to alleviate the pain in his shoulder. He feel asleep with that contented smile playing in his mind over and over. He wanted to make her smile like that again.


	3. Chapter Three

Scully drove home in silence, hands still gripped on the steering wheel like a vice. Her demeanor was stoic, but her mind raced. What had that kiss meant? Was it a Platonic New Years kiss or a real kiss? Would it happen again? Did she want it to? She could still feel his lips against hers. That plush bottom lip that she’d imagined dragging through her teeth hundreds of times. Her breathing quickened and she clenched her thighs together, just imagining another kiss. A real one, where she knew it was happening. Where it could be followed by another kiss, and then-SHIT! She missed her turn. Doubling back, she tried to keep her mind on driving until she arrived home a few minutes later. 

Walking into her apartment, she flipped all the lights on and stood staring into her living room for a few minutes. She had an overwhelming feeling that something major had changed. The tilt of the planet seemed to have shifted. Her feelings for Mulder had always fit neatly into a small box she pushed deep into her mind, forcing it back when those feelings bubbled to the surface now and then. Suddenly those feelings were so big, she wasn’t sure she could continue to secret them away. Snapping out of her trance, she discarded her jacket and marched purposefully towards the bathroom, switching the shower on to the hottest setting. Stripping, she let all her clothes fall into a pile on the floor before stepping into the steaming spray. As water ran over her face, she thought again of the kiss and groaned. She had to move past this. She grabbed her loofah and loaded it up with body wash, scrubbing the night vigorously off her, imagining she was washing away the want for him, this sick excited feeling, the hope she didn’t want to have that there will be a next time. Passing her fingers between her legs, she tried to ignore how slick she was, pretended it was soap, not wanting to fall further into the hole she was tumbling down. 

After every inch of her skin was scrubbed bright red, she turned off the water and stepped out, quickly toweling off before donning her plush robe and slippers. She brushed her teeth, scrubbing the taste of his kiss out of her mouth, hoping that she could spit out her desire along with the toothpaste into the sink. Crawling into bed in just her bathrobe, she willed herself to forget. Finding little success, she relived the kiss again, and then imagined happening at her apartment. After the first chaste kiss she would have pulled him in again, gently parting his lips with her tongue. Her fingers would have danced along the back of his neck, her nails digging lightly into his skin. As she imagined it, she let her hand slip under her robe and between her thighs. Even after cleaning off in the shower she was so wet. How was she this turned on just imagining kissing someone? As her fantasy brought that kiss to the couch and their clothes to the floor, her fingers dipped into her wetness and slid back and forth across the hood of her clit. In her mind, Mulder was taking her nipple in his teeth while in her bed, she felt her orgasm reach the edge of the cliff and she fell over it, coming hard and long and better than she had in a long time. Panting, she pulled her hand from beneath her robe and rolled to her side. Every time she thought about Mulder while she touched herself (which was often) she felt guilty and gross, like she was violating him. This time, she felt nothing but satisfaction. Sighing deeply, she fell asleep. Something had changed.


	4. Chapter Four

The following day, January 1, Mulder got a call about an unusual murder in Pittsfield. He knew Scully was taking the day off, but the case sounded like one she wouldn’t want to miss. He decided to call her. He got her answering machine and was leaving a message when she picked up.

“Mulder, I’m here.” 

Was she screening his call?

“Hey, Scully, sorry to bug you on your day off.”

“It’s okay, Mulder, what’s up?”

She almost sounded happy to hear from him, like she’d been hoping he’d call. 

“I just got a call about a murder in Pittsfield and I’m gonna go check it out. I think you might not want to miss this one, can I send you the report? If you don’t want to come out that’s okay, I just don’t want you to be mad at me later for not asking.” 

There was a long pause before she said “yeah, send me the file. I’ll meet you there as soon as I can get ready, where will you be?” 

“I’ll be at the hospital, but are you sure, Scully? You don’t want to take the day off?” 

Another long pause and then a heavy sigh. “I’ll see you in an hour or so” and she hung up. Mulder smiled as he emailed the file to her and then grabbed his coat. She wasn’t mad, in fact she seemed to want to hang out with him. He was still smiling when she walked into the hospital and tapped him on the shoulder, well over two hours later.


	5. Chapter Five

It was clear to him as they worked that case, which started with a hole smashed through a sheriff’s head and ended with teenagers in the woods, that Scully was feeling some kind of way towards him. Some kind of different way. She was flirtatious, pinching his elbow when he turned his head to check out a passing girl, playing with his tie while pleading with him to run down normal investigative routes before paranormal ones. He felt encouraged and excited that Scully welcomed his advances. Maybe she had just needed some time to process it, that would be typical of her. He thought about kissing her again that night but he decided to wait until a time they weren’t working or just finishing a case. He knew Scully liked to stay focused on work in the field, and maybe that was part of what spooked her before. He thought about how he could set up the right situation as they returned to the Hoover Building and walked into AD Skinner’s office to debrief him on their findings. After being asked and unable to answer a series of questions, they were standing to leave when Skinner said “oh and both of you take the next couple days off. You’ve worked the last 7 days straight. The last thing I need is HR lecturing me about burnout again.” Mulder and Scully exchanged glances, murmured “okay” and headed back towards the basement. They were mostly silent, Mulder thinking about the best, least awkward way to ask Scully what he wanted to. He almost didn’t get the nerve up at all. They had both retrieved their coats and were nearly to the parking garage when he blurted it out. 

“Hey I heard they’re showing Planet of the Apes tomorrow night at the old theater on 5th. I was thinking about checking it out, since we have the day off” 

As he spoke, he kept his eyes on the pavement. He hadn’t asked her to go with him, though it was implied. She didn’t say anything for long enough that he was afraid to look at her, worried she was trying to find the right way to say no. He couldn’t take it anymore and, just before they reached her car, he glanced at her and saw that she was smiling. More of a smirk, really. Normally, Scully smirked at him when she found something he said funny or charming and was trying to conceal her delight. She arrived at the trunk of her car and stopped, turning to lean against it with her hands in the pockets of her coat, still smirking. He couldn’t help but return a smile, but paired it with a quizzical head tilt that said “what?!” 

“Mulder!” she finally declared, now smiling broadly. He gave her an incredulous look, totally lost. 

“That movie is terrible and you know it!” 

He feigned a wounded reaction. 

“It’s a classic movie, Scully!” 

She shook her head 

“it’s an awful movie. What’s in it for me, if I go?” 

Now he was smiling broadly too, delighted with her playful response. 

“Well, aside from getting to enjoy a cinematic masterpiece with yours truly, I promise to go to that Georgia O’Keefe exhibit you’re all worked up over.” 

She eyed him skeptically, but with a hint of mischief. 

“You were already going to go to that” she countered. 

“Well, I might argue that you were probably going to see this movie with me regardless.” 

To that her smile turned bashful, and she averted her gaze momentarily. He knew her too well. When she looked back at him, she had a confident, assured posture. 

“Pick me up at 6?” 

He didn’t say anything, just smiled and nodded before turning to walk to his car. The smile didn’t leave his lips until he fell asleep that night.


	6. Chapter Six

Scully was panicking. She’d been panicking since she woke up that morning. What was she doing? What was Mulder doing? What was he thinking? Was this a date? She didn’t know. She kind of wanted it to be, but the thought also terrified her. What if he kissed her again? A very large part of her wanted that, wanted to see where it would go. But another very large part of her was afraid of what that would mean. What would she have if her relationship with Mulder was ruined by romance or sex or…something else. Love? She did love him, she’d admitted that to herself months ago. But her pragmatic mind had her thinking that she could be in love with him but also just be his friend, his coworker. The only thing worse than not being able to act on her feelings would be to lose him altogether. She was willing to suffer in order to avoid that. So what did tonight mean, she didn’t know. She checked the time; 4:00. Mulder would be here in two hours. 

She wished Melissa were here so she could talk to her about it. Lying on the couch, she tried to imagine what Missy would say. She would tell her to relax, to stop trying to control everything and just let it happen. That Mulder loved her and that after all they’d been through, sex wasn’t going to be the thing to come between them. Scully started to tear up as she heard her big sister’s voice in her head telling her that she deserved to be loved, that she should let Mulder love her. Out loud, she said “I’m so scared” and in her heart, Missy said it was okay to be scared, but to do it anyway. Sighing resolutely, she got up and started the bath before going to the kitchen and pouring a glass of wine to help her relax. She sat in the bath for quite a while, sipping her wine and imagining all the different ways things might go, from the absolute best possible outcome (Mulder is sweet, she is smitten, they have mind-blowing sex and there is zero awkwardness) to the absolute worst possible outcome (Mulder is taking her out to break the news that he has a tall, Blonde girlfriend and is leaving the FBI to spend his days making love to her). Thinking through possible outcomes gives her a feeling of control, like she’s prepared for anything. Turning her mind to getting ready, she shaved her legs to the knee, then sat up to shave her armpits. Stepping out of the bath, she turned on the shower and got in to wash her hair and face, and shave her thighs and bikini line. She took extra time to make sure she was perfectly smooth where she wanted to be, knowing that the more prepared she was to be seen naked, the less likely that she would, in fact, be seen naked. She chose a vanilla scented lotion to spread over her skin. Most days she used unscented lotion, but on special occasions she always chooses vanilla scents. As she smoothed it over her hips and breasts, she wondered if Mulder had ever noticed. She felt her skin flush as she imagined that he had, and that he would notice tonight. That he’d be close enough to her to notice. Donning her robe, she dried her hair and applied her makeup. She wore just a bit more than usual, smudging brown eyeshadow around the rims of her eyes to bring out the blue, a bit more eyeliner, a couple more layers of mascara. She pinned one side of her hair back and then took it down, deciding to tuck it behind her ear instead, and put on little dangly black earrings. Walking into her closet, she tried to think about what she’d been wearing the times she’s caught Mulder looking at her a bit longer than normal. Usually it’s something fitted, since she’s always dressed so modestly at work. She slipped on a black thong and a black lace bra that gave her good cleavage. Next she pulled out a pair of dark blue boot cut jeans that are half a size too small. She doesn’t like to wear them precisely because she notices men staring at her ass when she does, which she usually doesn’t welcome. The idea of Mulder staring at her ass made her smile. She pulled them on and admired herself in the full length mirror. They felt scandalously snug but she had to admit they did make her ass look great. On top she chose a sapphire blue sweater with a v neck. Usually she would wear a tank top under this sweater when she goes to church with her mother or runs errands. This time she didn’t put anything underneath and that, too, felt scandalous. The V neck isn’t plunging, but low enough that the gentle curve or her pushed-up breasts is visible even when she’s not bending down. She smiled at herself, and then got a little wave of nervousness. She checked the time again; Mulder would be here in a half hour. Pouring another glass of wine, she debated wearing lipstick. It looks nice, but does it discourage kissing? She ended up going for a semi-shiny gloss. Colorless but flirty. After putting her shoes and coat by the door, she sat down and tried to distract herself from feeling nervous, mostly by telling herself how stupid it was to be nervous about seeing a movie with a man she already spends all her time with. She let her mind wander again to all the possible outcomes, and the exercise calmed her. She was lingering on a particularly desirable one involving Mulder kissing her at her door for a very long time when she was startled by a knock at the door.


	7. Chapter 7

It was was 5:45; he was early. She jumped off the couch and headed to the door, her excitement overtaking her nerves for the moment. She opened the door to find him with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trench coat, the collar turned up and a dusting of snow on his shoulders, his cheeks and nose were pink. He looked nervous. He looked adorable. She smiled warmly at him and said “hi.” He smiled back 

“hey.” 

“Come inside, Mulder, you look frozen” she said with a concerned tone, stepping to the side to allow him through. As he entered her apartment, she saw the sideways glance he gave her, taking in her sweater and jeans. He was trying not to be obvious, but she liked that he was looking. 

“Can I take your coat?” She offered, and he slipped it off and handed it to her, removing his snow dampened shoes and and leaving them by the door. He was wearing blue jeans and a grey sweater. “It’s really coming down out there” he remarked, sitting on the arm of the couch. 

“Is it? I haven’t looked outside in hours” she replied, walking to the window and parting the blinds.  
Mulder was underplaying it; it was dumping snow. “Jesus, Mulder, I’m surprised you drove over here in that” she said, still looking at the blizzard through the window. He didn’t say anything, and she finally turned to look at him to see that he was smiling sheepishly. 

“I didn’t want to cancel” he shrugged. 

She fought back the grin that her mouth wanted to form in response to that and instead gave him a closed-lip smile. It didn’t really matter if she tried to hide it, Mulder knew all her smiles and what they meant, including that one. 

“So what did you want to do then?” She asked him, not wanting to be presumptuous but hoping they could watch a movie on her couch. 

“Um, can we just watch a movie here? Order pizza? Those crazy delivery kids will drive in any weather” he offered, to her delight. 

Tempering her excitement she said “yeah, we can do that, Mulder, but I must warn you that I don’t own Planet of the Apes.” 

That earned her a smile. She grabbed them each a beer and ordered a large supreme pizza before sitting down on the end of the couch, facing him with her back against the arm rest. 

“So, what did you do today?” She asked him, instantly hoping he wouldn’t return the question and force her to make up a story other than having sat around thinking about this date, or whatever it was. 

Mulder told her that he’d stopped by to see the gunmen, and that led them to a discussion around NSA surveillance, which led to theorizing about how long it had been since they checked office for bugs, and then Mulder ribbing Scully about the time that, under the influence of subliminal messaging, she had torn apart a hotel room looking for wires. Of course at the time it wasn’t funny at all, it was scary, but now they could look back on it with humor. 

The pizza came and was eaten, 5 empty beer bottles lined the counter, and they hadn’t even mentioned watching a movie. They had discussions like this all the time, but this one felt different. Scully would see Mulder’s gaze drift to the neck of her sweater when he though she’d looked away, she felt his eyes on her ass when she walked to use the bathroom. Mulder noticed Scully letting her feet rest alongside his legs, touching him. She was smiling and laughing much more often than usual, teasing him. She was flirting. There was a lull in conversation and Mulder picked up her stocking feet from the couch beside him, placing them in his lap before pressing his thumb into the ball of her left foot. She startled a little at the initial contact, but then relaxed and watched him, one elbow propped against the back of the couch, her head resting on her fist. He kept his eyes on the job at hand, working over her arches and heels, pressing the spaces between her toes. They were both quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. When he was finished, he wrapped a hand around each of her ankles, then looked up at her, smiling

“I think I could wrap my hand around your ankles twice” he remarked on her small size. 

She smiled back at him and shrugged. 

“what’s it like to navigate the world as such a tiny person?” He asked her earnestly.

She pondered the question for a moment before saying “we’ll, I’ve never navigated the world as a not-tiny person so I really couldn’t say. What’s it like navigating the world as a freakishly tall person?” 

He just smiled at her, not bothering to attempt an answer. There was silence again, but this time it didn’t feel comfortable, it felt like anticipatory, like something was about to happen, or something needed to be said. Her feet were still in his lap, his hands still lightly on her ankles. The silence persisted, now becoming awkward. They both searched their minds for something to say. Finally, Mulder spoke 

“I guess I should head home then, huh?” 

Scully gave him a perplexed look. 

“Mulder it’s practically a blizzard out there and you’ve been drinking, you can’t drive home. Just stay here, it’s fine. I suppose we could watch that movie now?” 

He sighed with relief; he hadn’t wanted to leave but wasn’t sure what she was thinking. 

“Yeah, that sounds perfect” he said, placing her feet back on the couch beside him and heading to the bathroom. 

“You pick the movie, but go easy on the chick flicks” 

She rolled her eyes. When he came back, she was sitting more towards the middle of the couch, the FBI piracy warning showing on the screen. She had gotten them each another beer, his sitting open on the coffee table. 

“What’d ya pick?” He asked, plopping down next to her, his thigh touching hers. From his closer position, he could smell vanilla on her skin. He had noticed that occasionally wore a vanilla scent and over time determined that it was for “special occasions” including holidays, after hours work events and now, apparently, a date. If that’s what this was anyway. 

She felt a rush of excitement at how close he was sitting. “You’ll see” she said with a smirk. When the opening credits started, it was immediately clear that it was Men in Black. Mulder groaned. 

“Scully, you own this?! Why?” 

She widened her eyes defensively

“it’s funny, Mulder. You haven’t even seen it, how can you possibly hate it so much?” 

He narrowed his eyes back at her 

“I boycotted it on principle. It’s wildly inaccurate.” 

She held his gaze as her expression changed to a smile 

“it’s a movie, Mulder. Lighten up.” Her tone was playful, teasing, and just a tiny bit sultry. 

For a moment, they just looked at each other, him with a perturbed expression and her grinning at his out-of-proportion reaction, when his face softened and he took her beer from her, setting it on the coffee table. Her stomach flipped-flopped, but she tried to play it cool. 

“I was drinking that”

“I know, but I didn’t want you to spill it when I did this.” 

She was bracing herself for the kiss that was surely coming, but instead he pushed his hands to either side of her rib cage and started tickling her. 

“Mulderrr!” She squealed, laughing and trying to maneuver away from him on the couch. He went on his knees and followed her until her back was against the arm and he was kneeling between her legs, his fingers in her armpits. 

“Okay okay okay! Stop, UNCLE, UNCLE!” She was laughing to the point of tears. 

He finally did stop, moving one hand to rest on the back of the couch, the other remaining at her waist. They were both panting hard and smiling, looking each other in the eye. The desire was so obvious to both of them, but no one was making a move. Scully wondered why he wasn’t, but then thought that he had made the move last time, maybe it was her turn. Riding the adrenaline of the moment before, she leaned forward slightly and lifted her hand to place it on the back of his neck, pulling him to her. Her nails sunk gently into the hair at the nape and their lips met, softly and without urgency. Scully exhaled deeply, a breath she’d been holding for years. After a moment, Mulder pulled back slightly so that his lips were still touching hers, but barely. He brushed them back and forth a couple times in a way that was so incredibly tender it made her ache. Wanting more, she hesitantly slid her tongue beyond her own lips to brush it gently against his bottom one. He hummed in response and kissed her again, bringing his tongue to meet hers just inside his mouth. Their kisses were passionate but measured; each reading the other for signs that it was too much, or not enough, both wanting to meet each other’s needs as well as their own. The hand Mulder had on the back of the couch came to rest on the side of Scully’s neck, his thumb brushing against her jaw, encouraging her. She now had both hands at the back of his neck, one sometimes wandering into his hair, or to pull his ear or scratch at the top of his shoulders. All the restraint she was exercising with her mouth was taken out on his arms, back, neck. He tightened the grip of his hand on her waist, massaging her rib cage, thinking about how close her beautiful breasts were to his finger tips. He didn’t think they were quite yet to the point where that would be welcome, so in a move of self control he lifted his hand and placed it on the side of her thigh. Now he was instead thinking about her ass, which seemed like a safer bet. Their kissing had deepened, each exploring the other’s mouth, breaking for tiny quick kisses on the lips and then bringing their tongues back into the mix. Fulfilling a long held fantasy, Scully took Mulder’s bottom lip between her teeth and pulled gently before sucking it between her lips. He felt an involuntary moan escape his mouth and at that moment he did slip his hand under her ass and give it a firm squeeze before bringing the hand that was on her neck to the other cheek and pulling her by the hips down into a more reclined position. His lips left hers and went to her neck, brushing beneath her ear, her little dangly earrings tickling the bridge of his nose, and over her clavicle, licking the edge of her cleavage along the hem of her sweater. She felt like she was melting into the couch and she threaded her hands into his hair, encouraging him. Returning to her mouth, he peppered her with tiny kisses all over her lips and cheeks, pressing his body to hers, his hips now cradled between her thighs. She could feel the bulge of his erection through his jeans and a jolt of electricity moved through her. Mulder tentatively slipped his fingers under her sweater, touching the smooth skin of her belly. 

“Is this okay?”

“Yes, yes” she replied breathlessly. 

He felt her hips buck up into him and he reflexively ground into her harder. He could hardly believe this was happening. He reached the bottom of her bra, feeling the lace-covered edge of the underwire. Pushing his fingers gently underneath, he brushed them against the curve of her breast and sighed. She was so soft. She sat up a little and he took her cue, sliding his hands behind her rib cage to unhook her bra. After she laid back down he took the same path again, slowly exploring the swell where the bottom of her breast met her ribs while he kissed down the side of her neck. He noticed that each time he met the juncture of her neck and the curve of her shoulder she sighed, so he decided to focus his efforts there, first grazing with his teeth and then planting deep, sucking kisses. Her breath quickened and while she was quiet, he suspected that it took a great amount of effort for her to remain so. Moving his attention to the same spot on the other side of her neck, he ran his fingers underneath her loosened bra and up over the curve of her breasts to find her nipple, which was rock hard. He felt her body tense and he brushed his thumb back and forth across the hard tip a few times, which earned him a throaty “oh.” He smiled against her neck, so gratified to know he was pleasing her that he almost forgot about his own erection until she bucked her hips again, and now he was the one moaning. She put her hands on the sides of his head and brought him back up to kiss her again, her whole body writhing and alive with want. He moved his hand from her breast to the couch to hold his weight as he brought the other hand up and under her sweater to pay the same attention to the other side. Just as his fingertips met her nipple, there was a knock at the door.


	8. Chapter 8

They froze, his hand on her breast and his erection pressing urgently against the crotch of her jeans. He pulled his face from hers and they looked at each other for a moment, snapped back to reality, both confused and alarmed. Another knock. Scully pushed his hand down and he extricated it from her sweater, sitting back so she could stand. As she walked towards the door, he saw her reach behind her back and clasp her bra. One step forward, two steps back. Sitting on the couch willing his dick to calm down, he pretended to watch the up-til-now ignored movie and listened to Scully’s side of the conversation:

“Hi, Mr. Richards, is everything okay?”

“Oh, yes, that’s my friend’s car. It’s fine. I’m fine”

“No, no Mr. Richard’s that’s really not necessary”

“I’m an FBI agent, remember? I promise you I can take care of myself.”

“I appreciate that, but again , not necessary. Have a good night, okay?”

She softly closed the door and then leaned against it, looking at the back of Mulder’s head as he sat on the couch. That awkward, panicked feeling was back. Had his hands been on her breasts? Did that happen? Was he hard? Oh my god, this was not something they could pretend didn’t happen. She couldn’t bring herself to move from the door, she felt frozen. After a minute or two Mulder turned around and looked at her.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah” she said with a sharp exhale “just my nosy neighbor thinking someone came to murder me and parked their car conveniently out front.”

“Well, nice to know someone cares, I suppose”

“Mhmmm”

She felt that he wanted her to return to the couch. She wanted to return to the couch, but she couldn’t. The moment had passed, maybe forever? She didn’t know. What she did know was that she could not go sit down next to him and go through whatever awkward exchange would precede either more kissing (yay) or more extreme awkwardness at closer proximity (nay). So she did what she always did, she ran away. 

“Um, I’m actually really tired, Mulder, I think I’m just going to go to bed”

As she talked, she walked from the door to the linen closet, pulling out a pillow and a blanket. 

“Please stay, I don’t want you driving in this. You can stay up if you want, watch the movie or whatever.” She wasn’t looking at him. 

“Okay. You okay, Scully?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m just tired.”

After depositing the blankets and pillow on the empty armchair, she turned and walked to her bedroom door. Just as she was about to close the door he spoke again. 

“Scully?

“Mhmm?”

“You look really beautiful tonight. Well, always, but especially tonight.”

His expression was open and vulnerable, earnest. She almost walked back over to him. Maybe that’s what he wanted, maybe that’s why he said it. She wished he would get up and come to her. She had used up every bit of gumption in her body already tonight. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

“Goodnight, Mulder” she said softly before shutting her bedroom door. 

Mulder flopped into a lying position on the couch. His erection had, mercifully, subsided, but he wanted so much more of her. He looked at her bedroom door, contemplating going in there. He tried to read the situation, to read her signals. Was this a time where she needed him to push, or needed to be given space. He didn’t want to be wrong, either way. After some deliberation, he decided to be cautious and let her alone. Maybe next time she’d open up even more. He sure hoped there’d be a next time. Forgoing the pillow or blanket, he fell asleep fully clothed on the couch, but only after replaying the events of the night at least 20 times. Just after he started to drift off, a sharp noise startled him awake. He listened, rapt for a few minutes and then fell back asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Behind her closed bedroom door, Scully crawled onto the bed over the covers and curled into a ball. The whole thing felt like a hallucination. What the hell was wrong with her? Why didn’t she go back to him on the couch? Why didn’t she ask him to come to bed with her? She had never wanted anyone so much in her life. She looked longingly at the door, begging him to knock, to ask to talk, to kiss her neck again, to pull all her clothes off. He didn’t, of course, because he respected her choice to stop. He would never push her. If she told him it was a mistake and that she never wanted to do it again, he would listen. She was afraid that she might say that, even though she wouldn’t mean it at all. After she was sure he wasn’t coming in, she changed into pajamas, tossing her very damp panties into the laundry basket along with her jeans and sweater. Crawling under the covers, she asked herself what she was so afraid of. Did she really think that this would ruin their relationship? No, she didn’t believe it would. They were already so close, and had been through so much. So what was it? Thinking back to her possible outcomes, the ones that scared her the most were the ones where Mulder rejected her or left her. She was already so deeply bonded to and connected with him. Losing him, whether to death or his own abandonment, was her worst fear. Deepening the bond, becoming even more connected to him, would make that loss greater. She was afraid of being hurt, more than she would already be. She chastised herself for her unwillingness to take that risk. Intellectually, she knew it was worth it. She knew that many paths in life had been closed off to her and she shouldn’t close off this one too. But as much as she knew it to be true, she could not will her body to make itself vulnerable to that level of pain. Not even with Mulder. The instinct of self protection was so incredibly strong. 

Tossing back and forth for a long while, she begged for sleep to come so that she could get through the next awkward interaction in the morning. She had to do it either way, and she’d prefer to be well rested. She let her mind wander back to the events on the couch with Mulder, and then she imagined what would have happened if that nosy bastard Mr, Richards hadn’t interrupted. Would Mulder have pulled her sweater off? Would he have continued doing to her nipples with his tongue what he’s started doing with his fingers? Her breath was heaving as she slipped her hand into her pajama bottoms. God, she hadn’t gotten this wet from anything since she was a teenager. She imagined Mulder peeling her jeans off, appreciating her thong, kissing her thighs and smelling her though the damp fabric. Would he pull her panties to the side? Could he not wait to taste her? Her fingers slipped from her opening up to pass around her clit, not touching it directly. She pretended it was Mulder’s tongue, lapping at her hungrily. Slipping a finger inside she moaned softly, and then again up and around. Over and over she quickened her pace, dipping inside then up and around, faster and faster. She let herself remember that Mulder was, in fact, no more than ten yards away in the next room, and that pushed her even closer to the edge. In her fantasy, he was so aroused by tasting her that he moaned and rubbed his erection over his jeans. That did it. She came suddenly, letting out an uncharacteristic shriek. A single note, immediately silenced by her non-occupied arm draping over her mouth. The idea that Mulder might burst in here thinking she needed help was both humiliating and exciting. But he didn’t. She held to fingers there on her clit, pressing with each throb as they got further and further apart, until she was done, letting out a contented sigh. She feel asleep soon after, trying not to think about what would happen in the morning.


	10. Chapter 10

Mulder woke up at 5am. A slight throb in his head from the beer, and probably also the un-met need in his pants. Padding quietly to the bathroom, he relieved himself and debated whether to flush the toilet. He didn’t want to wake Scully up, but he also didn’t want to piss her off by leaving pee in the toilet. He ended up deciding to flush, doing to as quietly as possible (as though it were in his control) and then crept quietly back to the living room. He wanted to be here when she woke up; he loved the look of her all rumpled and vulnerable in the morning on the times he had occasion to see it. But he knew Scully, and she would need some space from the events of last night in order to move forward. Whether this kind of thing would happen again, he didn’t know, but him sticking around certainly wouldn’t increase the odds. He decided to leave her a note so she wouldn’t need to wonder about where his head was at, and then he left, locking the door behind him. The roads were rough, and the drive that should normally take about 25 minutes took an hour, but he made it home. He took a shower, during which he relieved the pressure in his balls while thinking over and over about that little “oh” Scully had made when he kissed her neck and touched her nipple. He came quickly, wishing desperately it could have been with her, but still hopeful that the time would come. After he got out and dressed, he stepped into the living room to see his answering machine blinking with a new message. He hit play, and heard Scully’s voice come from the speakers. 

“Hi, it’s me. Um, thank you for the note. I….I don’t really know what to say except that, I don’t either. I’ll see you at work on Monday. Bye.”

He smiled. She doesn’t either. That’s something right there.


	11. Chapter 11

Scully had awoken that morning at 6 and laid still, listening for sounds of Mulder in her apartment. Usually he woke before her, both a night owl and an early riser while she was neither. Creeping into the bathroom, she shut the second door leading to the living room and peed quickly, washing her hands and cleaning up the edges of her makeup so she didn’t look completely awful. She brushed her teeth, then carefully unlatched the door, not sure what she’d find on the other side. What she found was nothing. The blanket and pillow she brought out still sat folded nearly on the chair. The couch was empty, and cool to the touch. No Mulder, and no sign of Mulder. Had she imagined it? The beer bottles and pizza box on the counter told her that it had, in fact, happened. She started to wonder if he was upset with her for leaving him wanting, when she spied a note on the kitchen counter. 

Scully,  
I think I know you well enough by now to know that the last thing you want to see this morning is me. I didn’t want you to read anything into it, so I’m just leaving this to make perfectly clear that I don’t regret it. If you do, I understand and I accept it, but I need you to know that I don’t. At all.  
Take care (also trust no one),  
Mulder

She beamed and read the note again. And then again. And then another time. She picked up the phone and called him, but he didn’t answer. She had no idea what time he’d left so she didn’t have enough information to worry that he hadn’t made it home. She left an awkward, stammering message on his machine, cringed at herself, and then read it a few more times. She spent the rest of the day bathing, cleaning, grocery shopping, and intermittently reading his note again, and smiling. He didn’t regret it. And neither did she.


	12. Chapter Twelve

The two days Skinner has mandated they take off made it a four day weekend. Their date, or whatever it was, was on Thursday and Scully had told Mulder in her message that she’d see him Monday, so he took that to mean she didn’t plan to see him over the weekend. He wasn’t happy about that prospect, but again, he wanted to respect her need for space. So he was surprised when his phone rang around 9 on Friday night and he heard her signature “hi” on the other end of the line. She was doing that more often now, just saying “hi” to identify herself. When they first started working together it was “Mulder, it’s Scully” and then at some point it became “Mulder, it’s me.” Now, when they weren’t working, it was often just “hi” and he loved how familiar it was. He could see the look on her face, even over the phone, when she issued that “hi.” It was the one he’d seen at his hospital bedside, and after longer periods of separation. It was warm and tender and made him feel loved. He smiled just hearing that “hi.” 

“Hey Scully. It’s good to hear your voice.”

“You too. Whatcha doin?”

“What am I always doing? Watching movies that you probably think are terrible and eating shitty takeout. What are you doing?” 

“Um, nothing. Reading. It occurred to me that I did not at any point today confirm that you made it home alive, so I just thought I’d check.”

“Ah, that’s very sweet of you Scully, though if I hadn’t made it home I’d very likely be dead by now seeing as how I left 16 hours ago.”

Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?”

“That’s what they say.”

There were several beats of silence. 

“Hey Scully, what are you doing tonight?” 

“It’s 9pm, Mulder.”

“Yeah, and?”

“Forgive me for being dull, but if I’m not already out at 9pm, it’s not because my plans haven’t started yet.”

“What if I told you that you could still see Planet of the Apes?”

“Is that supposed to excite me in some way?”

Her reference to being excited reminded him of the night before and he shifted in his seat. 

“Well, yeah. I was hoping so anyway. You should come over.”

She didn’t say anything for long enough that he regretted taking the risk of saying it. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mulder.”

He grimaced. He’d fucked up. It was too much. 

“I’m just joking, Scully. I know you hate that movie.”

She let him him keep up the façade that he didn’t mean what he said. That he didn’t want her to come over so he could finish what they’d started. 

“Goodnight Mulder.” Her tone was one she used when she was mildly annoyed with and also mildly entertained by him. 

“Night, Scully.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Saturday morning, Scully drove into DC to meet her mother for breakfast. Mom had asked her to pick the place and she chose a diner that was a favorite of Mulder’s for allegedly making the best Denver omelette he’d ever had. She was dressed casually, in an oversized sweater and the snug jeans she’d been wearing when Mulder came over. It gave her a little thrill to put them back on and think about how he looked at her in them. She put on only mascara and pulled her hair half up. Mom always liked it when she was less done up, she said it made her be able to see Dana as the little girl she used to be. They met in the lobby, both shivering off the brief walks from their cars. They hugged in greeting and were shown a booth by the window. Maggie sat on the side facing the door, as she’d been trained to do by her military husband, and two coffees with cream were ordered. When it was time to select their meals, Maggie ordered a basic eggs, bacon and toast, and Scully surprised herself by ordering a Denver omelette. After their server gathered their menus and walked away, Maggie looked at her daughter with confusion.

“Dana, I have never in my life seen you order an omelette.”

Scully shrugged “gotta mix it up now and then I suppose, mom. Anyway, what’s new with you?”

“Just the same routine, church on Wednesday and Sunday, women’s group on Friday. Father McCue asked after you.”

“That’s kind of him. Have you heard from Bill lately? Or Charlie?”

“Bill calls dutifully every Tuesday night, though usually he puts Tara on the phone after a minute or two. They seem to be doing well. And you know Charlie. He called me every day for a week and now I haven’t heard from him in a month. Jennifer checks in though, God bless her. Sounds like the kids are doing really well. They go back to school on Monday.”

“Mmmm.” Scully nodded along, though she was only half listening. 

“So what’s new with you, Dana? You seem quite…chipper? For you, anyway.”

“What do you mean, mom?”

“Well, you’re grinning like a fool and you just ordered an omelette. So either you’re high or something else has you giddy. And you’d better not be high.”

“Mom! I’m neither on drugs nor ‘giddy.’ Maybe I’m just in a good mood.”

Maggie gave her a look that said “yeah right” and they made idle conversation until their food arrived. Scully mostly just liked the smell of the omelette. It reminded her of Mulder, and being here with him ordering omelettes at three in the afternoon because “omelettes are delicious at all times of the day.” She realized she was staring at the omelette smiling. Now mom would really think she was high. She looked up to see if her newest strange behavior had been noticed and saw that mom wasn’t looking at her at all, but was looking towards the door, smiling warmly. Scully turned to see who she was smiling at and saw none other than Fox Mulder strolling towards them, cheeks pink from the cold. Her stomach lurched and she didn’t know how to be. This was the first time she’d seen him since the other night. 

“Hi Mrs. Scully” Mulder said, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. 

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Maggie, Fox?”

“A few more, I guess. Hey Scully.” His smile was boyish and her heart was pounding. 

“Hi” she replied, though the typical calm confidence was absent and it came out a bit squeakier than he would have liked. 

“Fox, will you join us? Our food just came, you won’t be too far behind.”

“Oh I wouldn’t want to intrude” he glanced to Scully, trying to gage whether she wanted him to stay. She was looking at her coffee cup. 

“Oh it’s no intrusion, please sit. Dana, honey, scoot over and make room.”

Scully did as she was told, sliding over close to the window, Mulder following after her, sitting a little closer to her than was absolutely necessary. The server stopped by and ask if he’d like anything and he ordered just a cup of coffee, black. 

“Hey, who ordered a Denver omelette?!” Mulder asked, excitedly. 

“Dana did” Maggie replied, tilting her head at her daughter as if to remind her that it was, in fact, an odd thing for her to order. Scully blushed. Mulder looked at her while she continued to examine her mug. He did not miss the pink that rose in her cheeks. 

“Since when do you like omelettes, Scully?”

She raised her face to meet his eye “since Thursday, apparently”. She was trying to reclaim her confidence. She didn’t want to give him the power to make her feel awkward. 

“Ah, I see. That’s a major development. Are you going to eat the omelette, that you just realized you liked on Thursday?”

That bastard. She couldn’t decide whether to laugh or be angry that he was having this thinly veiled conversation in front of her mother. Maggie was looking at them like they might burst into flame at any moment; rapt and a little uneasy. 

“You know, I thought so but now that it’s here I’m not entirely sure.”

“Ah. Well you could just try it and see.”

She couldn’t stop herself from smirking. This was probably the most ridiculous conversation she’d ever had. 

“What if I hate it, though? What if it’s awful?” She didn’t even mean what she was saying. She wasn’t worried Mulder would be bad in bed, she knew he wouldn’t be. Her reservations were all emotional, but this was funny as shit. 

“I’ve had it Scully. Many times, it’s not awful, of that I can assure you.” 

“Ah, we’ll then here Mulder. If it’s so good, you can eat it yourself.” She was actively holding back a laugh as she pushed her plate in front of him. He smiled like the crackpot he was and grabbed a fork. 

“Well, I do hope someday you’ll try it Scully, but until then I will definitely be eating it myself” and then he took a huge bite. She did laugh then, conspiratorially. She felt like a middle schooler, telling inside jokes in front of her mother and giggling. Maggie was slowly eating her breakfast, watching the interaction with interest. Mulder ate about half the omelette in three big bites, took a swig of his coffee and said “sorry, gotta run.” He placed his hand briefly on Scully’s thigh, giving it a squeeze before he stood up. 

“Thank you so much for inviting me to sit down with you, Maggie, it was great to see you.”

“You too Fox, I wish I saw you more often.” She said it warmly and genuinely. 

As Mulder leaned forward to pick his wallet up off the seat he said “Later, Scully.” And then in a lower tone “nice pants.” And then he walked out, cool as a cucumber. 

Maggie Scully looked at her daughter expectantly and Scully tried to act casual, feigning a puzzled look, like she didn’t know exactly what her mother was asking her. 

“Dana Katherine Scully, spill it.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

She couldn’t rightly say if it was self control or her own hang ups, but she didn’t see Mulder again that weekend. They did talk on the phone Sunday evening, for nearly an hour, about mostly nothing. She was grateful that Mulder didn’t mention the breakfast or any other recent events. She wanted them to be able to feel normal around each other. It was nearing the time she’d need to say goodnight when Mulder changed the subject. 

“Hey Scully, can I take you to dinner sometime?”

“We eat dinner together most nights, Mulder.”

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t mean takeout or whatever crappy diner is open. I mean I pick you up, we go somewhere, not work related or work adjacent.”

“So like a date?” She surprised herself with her directness. 

“I suppose so, if you’re comfortable calling it that.”

“Well, may as well call a spade a spade, right?”

“It’s certainly much more efficient than omelette metaphors”

She laughed at that, heartily. 

“I like it when you laugh.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. She wanted to ask him to come over. Instead, she said “okay Mulder, it’s a date. Wait, when?”

“Let’s see what’s on our desk tomorrow before we set anything in stone. If we don’t have anything that takes us out of town, we can go tomorrow.”

“Deal” she replied, suddenly more hopeful than ever that they not get an out-of-town case. 

“Goodnight, Scully”

“Goodnight Mulder”

“Wait-hey Scully”

“Yeah?”

“Did you eat the rest of that omelette?”

She smiled into the receiver, leaving him hanging for a moment before she replied. 

“Yep.” And then he heard the click of her hanging up.


	15. Chapter 15

Monday morning arrived at last. Scully was looking through a set of new work clothes, deciding what to wear. After telling her mother a very sanitized version of what had been happening with Mulder, they’d decided to go shopping. Scully liked the way she felt wearing clothes that fit closer to her body. She liked the way Mulder looked at her when she was wearing them. She had purchased several new pairs of trousers and jackets as well as blouses, all well tailored for her tiny frame. Since she was new to this, she dipped her toe in carefully with all black. Black pants and a tight black boat neck top with a black jacket that made her feel sharp and also sexy. As she was gathering her trench coat and boots, her cell phone rang. 

“Scully”

“Hey Scully, have you left home yet?”

“No, I was just about to walk out the door, what’s up?”

“I got into the office early and we have a case out in Chicago that’s a must-see. I’m about to board a plane but I booked you a ticket in an hour and a half so pack a bag.”

“Okay, are you going to send me the case file?”

“Nah, I don’t have time. I’ll fill you in when you get there”

“Okay, talk to you later”

“Hey Scully, rain check on that date, okay?”

“Bye Mulder” she replied with a smile in her voice. 

She was a little disappointed but she was also happy to be spending time with him today. She caught her flight and landed in Chicago while the sun was still high in the sky. As she disembarked she turned on her cell and had a voicemail asking her to meet him on the NE corner of 7th and Hunter. She swung by their hotel to drop her bag off and then hailed a cab to meet him. When she finally found him, she delighted in the fact that he noticed her new clothes right away. 

The case was an interesting one; a combination of good old fashioned detective work and just a bit of spookiness. The mild flirtation that had existed between them for the past week continued, though Scully was actively tamping the butterflies down. She couldn’t help but laugh at Mulder’s pained expression when he first got a face full of water after trying to help fix a sink, and then fell through the floor of an apartment. She could tell that there was a little extra layer of embarrassment, given the extra layer of…whatever this was…between them. After they said goodbye to Weems, Richie and his mom, they we’re walking out of the hospital when Mulder asked

“Do you really believe what you said to Weems? That everything happens for a reason? I think that’s called fate, Scully. Seems a little woo woo for you.”

“I don’t think I believe it on a scientific level, but on a purely emotional level it can be easy to think that things were meant to happen exactly the way they do.”

Mulder considered this for a moment. 

“Would it be considered fate, then, Scully that Planet of the Apes happens to be playing tonight at 7:00, at a theater just blocks from our hotel?”

She stopped then and turned to look at him, pure annoyance on her face. He put up his hands in mock defense.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” He was laughing, and she worked to suppress a smirk. 

“It’s still early, Mulder, maybe we can get a flight home tonight?” She hoped her tone conveyed “I want to sleep in my own bed” and not “I want to go on that date so I can make out with you again.”

“I already checked and that ship has sailed, BUT how would it strike you to see Chicago IN Chicago?”

“Like the musical?”

“Yeah, have you seen it?”

“No, have you?”

“No, but I’d like to take you to see it tonight, if you’re game”

There were those butterflies again. She tamped them down. 

“Sure, Mulder. That sounds nice” her smile was shy but genuine. 

He clapped his hands once in a celebratory way. “Great! I have to go back to finish some paperwork with the local PD, but I’ll swing by at 5:30?”

“Sounds like a plan”

He hailed a cab, his demeanor quite exuberant for a guy who’d just fallen through a floor. After his cab was no longer visible, she released the nervous breath she’d been holding. What that hell was she going to wear?

Hailing her own cab, she asked he driver to take her to Macy’s.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Mulder had been lying about heading back to the local PD, but he needed a reason to go off on his own that Scully wouldn’t feel compelled to tag along for. The first thing he did was swing by the Cadillac Palace Theater to buy tickets for the show that night. He’d been fairly confident she’d say yes, but not enough so to buy tickets before asking. After that, he stopped by a nearby restaurant that looked appropriately fancy and made reservations for 6pm. He got back to the hotel at 5, with just enough time to shower and shave for the second time that day and get dressed for dinner. This being his plan the moment he realized the case would take them to Chicago, he had packed a pair of heather grey slacks that he didn’t wear to work because the fit was a bit slimmer than he found comfortable in the field, as well as a black sweater. He felt a little bad that he hadn’t given Scully the opportunity to pack off duty clothes, but she wouldn’t be out of place in a suit at a Broadway show. At 5:25, he knocked on her hotel room door. 

When the door opened, he noticed immediately that she was wearing a dress and strappy heels under her trench coat. Her hair looked different than it had earlier, and her makeup. 

“Hi” she greeted him, with that warm smile that made his heart skip a beat as of late. 

“Hey. You ready?”

“Yep, let’s hit the road”

Pulling the door closed behind her, she walked ahead of him towards the parking lot. He could see just a bit of green fabric peeking out from the bottom of her coat, right below her knees. He didn’t think she was wearing nylons, which was unlike her. He swallowed hard. A cab was already waiting, he had called one before he left his room, and she slipped into the back seat fist, sliding over to make room for him. After he let the driver know where they were headed, he turned to take her in. She sat with her body slightly turned and her leg crossed towards him. He could see more of her dress, silky moss green fabric draped over her knee. Her eyes were rimmed in smokey black, her lips bare save for the shine of lip gloss. Her hair was straighter, reaching just past her shoulders. One side was tucked behind her ear, revealing the same little black dangly earrings she’d been wearing at her apartment last Thursday. He felt a flush of heat to his lap remembering the way they’d tickled his nose while he devoured her neck. His eyes continued to rove over her, the taper of her waist accentuated by her coat tied tight, her toes painted dark pink. When he returned his glance to her face, he found her mouth twisted into a gratified smirk, at which time his eyes met hers and he realized she’d been sitting there watching him look at her. He opened his mouth, preparing to explain himself, but came up with nothing, so he just sat there slack jawed, still staring at her. Her smirk pulled into a momentary grin and she stifled a laugh, then composed herself and said in a tone of mock concern “you okay, Mulder?” He shut his mouth, pushing it into a pained fake smile, and nodded his head yes; he didn’t trust himself to speak. She reached out and patted his hand, which was resting on the seat between them, before turning to look out the window. He could see from the curve of her cheek that she was still smiling, and even though it was at his expense, it made him happy to make her smile. 

They arrived at the restaurant, which was some kind of Italian Mediterranean fusion and had both a coat check and a dessert cart. Certifiably fancy. Mulder removed his coat first and Scully discreetly appreciated the close cut of his pants, how they hugged his slim hips and lay snug across the tops of his ass cheeks. He turned and held his hands out, indicating that she should remove her coat and hand it to him. Pulling the tie free, she slipped the coat off her shoulders and gathered it in one hand, holding it out to him. 

He stood with his jaw slightly agape and his outstretched hands frozen, making no attempt to take the coat Scully held out to him. She looked fucking incredible. She was wearing a moss green wrap dress with long sleeves and a deep V neck. The silky material cinched tightly around her tiny waist and fell just below her knee, closely following the line of her thighs. Paired with her smokey eye makeup and sleek hair, she looked like she belonged on a red carpet. 

“Mulder? Earth to Mulder!” She snapped her fingers in front of his face and he startled, quickly grabbing her coat and stammering something about needing coffee. He checked in with the front desk while she stood leaning against a wall near the door. A busboy was wiping down the small tables in the waiting area and she could see from her peripheral vision that he was staring at her. She hated being leered at, but right now it made her feel powerful, and she hoped Mulder would see it. 

As he turned from the host stand and walked toward her, he did see the bus boy very conspicuously ogling her. He couldn’t blame the kid; she was painfully beautiful. He felt like he should drop and kiss her feet, plead that she stay with him even though he was so unworthy. Instead he leaned against the same wall, turned toward her with his shoulder propping him up. 

“Should just be about 5 minutes.”

She nodded in response. 

“I think you have a fan over there, Scully” he said, gesturing with his chin towards the bus boy. 

She didn’t say anything, but dipped her head towards the floor bashfully. 

“You…you look amazing Scully. Honestly, wow.”

She felt herself blush but she lifted her head to meet his eyes, pausing there for a moment before saying softly “thank you.” They continued to look at one another, and he wondered if he could make it through this night without kissing her. 

“Mulder?!” The hostess called out.

Mulder gestured to Scully that she should go ahead and she stepped forward to follow the hostess to their table, Mulder close behind. She had a sneaking suspicion that he wanted to walk behind her so he could get a good look at her ass. Knowing he was watching, she switched her hips a little extra, to give him a show. 

He might not make it. That dress on her body, and her ass, oh my god. He wondered if she were wearing underwear. He detected no hint of a panty line. He thought about any possible decent location that he might kiss her. Not at a restaurant table, not in a taxi, or a crowded theater. Definitely not at their shitty paid-for-by-the-government hotel. Maybe he should have waited to take her out until they got home. But then he never would have gotten to see this dress. 

Their table was a small half-circle booth, where there was no option except to sit right beside each other. They ordered a bottle of wine and alternated making small talk while casting shy glances at one another. They both felt nervous and excited, though neither could say for what. They were happy just being together, not for work. As they drank their wine, they got more comfortable. He ordered steak and potatoes, she ordered a salmon Caesar salad. She smiled and laughed readily, and squeezed his arm for emphasis when telling a story. Scully had never felt more beautiful as she did under his loving gaze. Mulder had never been so taken with another human as he was with her in this moment. They shared a slice of flourless chocolate cake for dessert and then paid the bill, retrieved their coats and walked into the cool evening air. 

“We still have an hour until the show starts and the theater’s only a couple blocks away. How would you like to kill your time, Ms. Scully?”

“Isn’t the river just a block or two that way? Can we go walk beside it?” 

“As you wish” he replied, holding out his elbow so she could take his arm. 

They strolled slowly down the sidewalk toward the river in companionable silence. Crossing the street, they came to the river’s edge and stopped to lean against the railing, looking into the deep blue water below. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, peering at the rushing water shoulder to shoulder. Finally Mulder spoke. 

“You know, they call Chicago the movable bridge capital of the world. There’s something like 40 drawbridges on this river.”

Scully chuffed a laugh, turning sideways to face him so that her hip was resting on the rail. 

“Is there anything you don’t have a fun fact on, Mulder? Anything you don’t know?”

He changed his posture to match hers, though more slouched to compensate for their height difference. 

“Sure, there are plenty of things I don’t know, isn’t that what drives my work? I will admit to wanting to know as much as possible about the universe and it’s inhabitants. There is one thing I’m stumped on that maybe you can help me with, though.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“What is this…whatever this is, between us?”

She felt her face flush and she dropped her eyes to the side, unable to maintain contact. 

“Sorry, Scully, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I just…I know what I want it to mean but I don’t know what you’re thinking and…I just don’t want to mess it up.”

She took a deep breath and raised her gaze to his shoulder, stopping short of his face. 

“I don’t know, Mulder. I’m not sure what…what this is. I don’t know…I guess I just don’t know.”

“Okay, I’m gathering that you don’t know” he said in a playful tone. She laughed a little, embarrassed. 

“Sorry, I’m bad at this.”

“It’s okay, Scully. Sorry I made it awkward. Can I ask you a different question, one that’s hopefully easier to answer?”

“Sure, Mulder. Shoot” she felt relief wash over her that the conversation was over. 

“May I kiss you? Right now?”

She was able to look at him then. To see the desire and tenderness in his eyes. She didn’t know why this was so hard to talk about with him. So hard to navigate. She had never felt more safe with anyone in her life. 

“Yes” 

He moved to her, putting his hands on her waist and turning her so that her back was now resting on the rail, and she placed her palms gently on his chest. He lifted his hands to her jaw and kissed her tenderly on the lips, and then again. A series of small, closed mouth kisses that felt more intimate than any marathon make out session she’d had with another man. They paused, their foreheads still touching, and he brought his hands back down to her waist, resting them on the tie of her jacket. 

“May I?” He asked.

She nodded in response. Pulling the tie free, he stood back a little and took in her dress again, this time running his hands over her hips and the sides of her thighs, his fingertips grazing her ass. She felt warm and tingly and wished they were somewhere more private. After getting his eye full, Mulder kept his hands firmly on her hips and leaned back in, his lips near her ear. 

“You are so incredibly beautiful, Scully”

She knew it would be illegal to make love to him right here on the street, but she found herself strongly considering it. She had no doubt that she was dripping wet. She should probably worry about leaving a wet spot on her dress when she sat down for the show. Instead of trying her luck with a public act of indecency, she brought her palms to his cheeks and kissed him again, this time opening her mouth to invite his tongue. They went on like that for a few moments, his grip on her hips tightening and his pelvis leaning forward to press in to hers. He slid his hand, obscured by her coat still hanging open off her shoulders, back on to her ass cheek and squeezed. A tiny moan escaped her mouth, to her surprise, which only encouraged him. As he started to slide that same hand down to the bottom hem of her dress, a group of three teenagers whooshed by on skateboards, one of them calling out “get a room” to which they all cackled. Mulder pulled away from her to glare at them and shake his head, and when he looked back Scully had pulled her jacket closed, tied it again tightly around her waist. He could see that she was uncomfortable. He wished he knew what she was thinking, how she was feeling, but he also knew that pushing it would just make her withdraw further; he had to give her time. He had waited 7 years already, and in truth he’d be willing to wait for her forever. 

“Ready to head to the theater?” He asked her, careful to keep his tone casual, to let the tension of the moments before slip away so she could feel in control. She nodded and slipped her arm into the crook of his, which was hanging loosely at his side. As they walked the 4 blocks to the theater, her hand slipped slowly down to his forearm, then his wrist, and then into his palm just for the final steps to the grand doors of the Cadillac Palace Theater. The gesture wasn’t lost on him; he knew that she was pushing herself to allow that small show of intimacy. He brushed his thumb over hers and squeezed her hand once before dropping it to open the door for her.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

They stepped into the ornate lobby, and Scully was immediately captivated by its grandeur. Two staircases flanked either side, their railings gold and floral. The walls and pillars supporting the second floor were white marble, the carpet rich red. Large, gold framed mirrors were mounted high on the walls, reflecting the Crystal chandeliers that hung from the ceiling, which was high and incredibly intricate. 

“Wow, this place is amazing” she mused as Mulder helped her slip her coat off and handed it to the young woman at the coat check. 

“It was originally a vaudeville venue, then a movie theater, eventually it turned into banquet hall and more recently they had rock concerts here. But it was totally redone last year, it just reopened last fall actually”

She eyed him skeptically “there really is nothing you don’t know.”

He smiled, proud of himself for impressing her, and then slipped his arm around her waist. Normally that would be an awkward position for them, but her heels were at least 4 inches tall, which helped. They strolled around the lobby for a bit, admiring the architecture, and each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. The lights dimmed twice, indicating that the show was about to start and they made their way to their seats. They were in the first row on the mezzanine, which afforded an unobstructed view of the stage, as well as the vast dome of the ceiling. Mulder draped his arm across the back of Scully’s seat and she tilted her head back, resting it on his arm. 

“It’s so beautiful, Mulder.”

“That it is”

She could see out of her periphery that he was looking at her when he said it, and she kept her eyes cast upward. She’d never been especially good at taking compliments or attention based on her looks, generally. She’d been a late bloomer, and while she’d dated both seriously and casually in her teens and early 20’s, it wasn’t until she entered medical school that she ever noticed men raking their eyes over her body when she was running errands in shorts and a tank top, or had men approach her at coffee shops asking if she were a frequent patron. At the same time, she saw how the male students were taken more seriously and seen as more ambitious than their female counterparts, who were all pegged as future pediatricians or stay at home moms if they got pregnant before they finished their doctoral thesis. She came to see male attention as in conflict with her goals of being taken seriously and finding success that was attributed to her skill as a doctor and not who she slept with along the way. So now, even from Mulder, who she knew respected her without question and to whom she would never be seen as an object, the compliments made her uncomfortable. 

The lights dimmed and the show started. It was everything you might expect; funny, sexy, raunchy, and exciting. Scully was completely taken, laughing and smiling, leaning against Mulder and touching his arm during suspenseful moments, eyes going wide at the complicated choreography. Mulder was taken as well, but not as much with the show. As glued as Scully was to the stage, he spent a good portion of the time just watching her watch it. He rarely got to see her this relaxed and spirited. She wasn’t Dr. Scully or Agent Scully or Maggie Scully’s daughter; she was just Dana, seeing a play with her friend, free to experience the moment. He was much more interested in seeing that than a series of spread eagles. 

At intermission, they made their way to the lines for their respective bathrooms, which extended far beyond the bathrooms themselves, winding through the lobby between velvet ropes. Predictably, Mulder had made it in and out before she had covered even half the line, and he offered to go get her a drink, which she accepted. After Mulder had walked away, an older woman just behind her in line, who Scully recognized as sitting near them, gently brushed her fingers against Scully’s elbow to get her attention. 

“Excuse me, miss, I’m sorry to bother you. I just had to say something.”

“Yes?”

“That man, your husband or boyfriend-“

“He’s-“ Scully stopped herself. Usually she was quick to correct people that Mulder was neither her husband nor her boyfriend, but she found herself curious to see what came next. “-sorry, go ahead.”

“Oh I was just going to say, I’ve never anyone so in love as he is with you. I’m not sure he’s actually seen any of the play!”

“I’m sorry?”

“He’s just been staring at you the entire time! All moony-eyed. It’s so sweet. Nice to see that men still look at women like that these days. Anyway, I’ll stop bothering you, enjoy dear.”

Scully felt those damn butterflies again. Was Mulder looking at her that much? She liked the idea that he was. When she was close to the front of the line, Mulder returned with a clear cocktail. Without asking what it was, she drank it and then nodded in approval; gin and tonic. He stood next to the line with her until it went into the bathroom, and then held her drink and waited for her to emerge from the other side. She gulped the last bit down just as the lights flickered again, summoning them back to their seats. After they had sat down, Scully looked around and spotted the woman who had spoken to her. They made eye contact and the woman winked and smiled right as Mulder slid his arm back across her seat, resting his hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. Scully smiled back and rested her head against Mulder’s chest as the second act started. Throughout the remainder of the play she abruptly turned to look at him a few times, and each time she was met face to face with him, and he would smile sheepishly then turn his head back to the stage as though he’d only looked toward her for a moment. 

The show ended with a standing ovation and three encore curtain calls. They filed into the lobby with the other patrons and Scully stopped to use the bathroom again before they gathered their coats and stepped out into the brisk night air. It was almost midnight, but neither of them wanted the night to end. Their evening would conclude at their hotel doors, that they both knew. Though there was interest and potential for so much more to happen between them, it shouldn’t happen at a shitty hotel while on the road for work. That was not a memory either of them wanted to have of their first time together. They walked slowly down the sidewalk, side by side but not touching. They would need to get a cab back to their hotel, it was much to far to walk, but they seemed to silently agree that they weren’t ready to do that. They passed an inviting looking bar with piano music trailing out. A respectable place where two sharply dressed FBI agents wouldn’t stand out. Mulder stopped walking and tilted his head towards the door, a question in his eyes. Scully answered by pulling the handle and walking inside.


	18. Chapter 18

It was dimly lit but clean-looking. One of those dueling piano bars, though it seemed that the duel was over and currently one man was playing a jazz tune that he may have been making up on the spot. They found a round table in the corner that was mostly away from other patrons and sat down shoulder to shoulder. A waiter came by and Mulder ordered a beer, while Scully opted for another gin and tonic. 

“Hey, I didn’t know if you actually liked those, was that a lucky guess?”

“I guess so. I actually haven’t had one in a long time. I used to drink them a lot when I was in pre-med, but I think I got burnt out on them and haven’t really had one since. The one you got just reminded me that I like them, I suppose.”

“Hm, what else do you like?”

“Can you be more specific?” She was cautiously curious. That question could go a lot of ways. 

“I guess I mean things that I wouldn’t know from work. I know that you like to eat salads for practically every meal, and the occasional bee pollen yogurt, and that you like your coffee with a little sugar and a lot of cream. And that you should probably wear your glasses all the time but you don’t because you’re too vain. But there are a lot of things about you that I don’t know, that would never come up at work. That you like gin and tonics, for example. So tell me something I don’t know.”

She thought for a rather long time. She wanted this fact to be interesting and not dorky or embarrassing.

“Okay, I smoked at one point, cigarettes, every day. For about three years after high school. I still smoke, sometimes, if I’m really stressed. So I guess I’d say I like cigarettes, though I try not to.”

A look of genuine surprise came to his face. He couldn’t even picture her with a cigarette between her fingers, much less smoking it.

“When’s the last time you smoked?”

“Uhmmm, when I was in Africa, when you were ill. The local workers had these little hand rolled cigarettes, no filter. I probably smoked hundreds of them.”

“I’m honestly really surprised, Scully. I would have thought you’d abhor smoking or look down on it, even.”

She shrugged. He wanted to know. 

“Now you go, Mulder. What do you like?”

“Hm. I suppose this is meant to be PG-13? Nothing X rated?”

“I don’t know, Mulder, it’s your game. You tell me.”

Their drinks had arrived and she took a sip for emphasis. 

“Well, I guess I like to sing.”

“When do you sing? I don’t think I’ve heard you more than whistle” she asked, amused. 

“I sing in the shower, if I’m in the car by myself, or at home. Sometimes I sing in the car when you’re there, when you’re asleep. I just shut off the radio and start singing and it’s never woken you up.”

“What do you sing?”

“Elvis, of course. But also sometimes the Cure, Tears Over Fears, stuff like that.”

Scully suddenly had a memory come forward. She had been dozing in the car when a rough patch of road jostled her into consciousness. Before she drifted back off she recognized “I will always love you” by the Cure on the radio, but noted that it sounded like an a capella version. She wondered if that had been Mulder, singing while she slept. 

“I’d like to hear you sing sometime” she said, and she really meant it. He could tell that she really meant it.

“You might need to order me several more beers, then” he joked self consciously, turning his eyes to his beer bottle, picking at the label.

She smiled at him, gazing tenderly at the side of his face. He looked up then and caught her eye, saw the affection there. They held eye contact for a moment, and then Mulder sighed deeply and looked back to the table.

“What’s wrong?” She inquired, concern in her voice.

“Nothing. Everything is great, actually, amazing. I’m just not really sure…” He turned again to look at her. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, or not do. Honestly I’m having a hard time reading you. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or do something out of line. I’m not sure what you want.”

She was caught off guard by his sudden candor and now it was her turn to stare at her drink to avoid eye contact. 

“See, even there, Scully, I know I made you uncomfortable and I’m sorry. But I just need to know where you stand and what this is.”

She nodded at her glass slowly. “I know, you’re right. It’s a totally reasonable thing for you to ask. I’m sorry to put you in that position. I don’t really know the answer to that, Mulder. It’s a bit overwhelming just to think about it. I guess I’ve just kind of been winging it, which isn’t exactly my typical approach. And clearly it’s not working very well.”

“Can we just talk about it? Now?”

“Well, on the one hand the idea of that makes me want to crawl under this table, but on the other hand the floor is disgusting. So… sure.” She still wasn’t looking at him.

“What are you afraid of, Scully?”

“Well, namely that this will turn out to be a huge mistake and will change our relationship for the worse. That we won’t be able to continue working together, at least comfortably.”

“And when you say “this” you mean…”

She cast him an annoyed glance. “Would you like me to draw you a diagram?”

He laughed. “Scully, I’m pushing 40. I feel like sex shouldn’t be a taboo topic at this point.”

“Hiding under the table is starting to look more and more appealing, Mulder” she warned. 

He picked up the hand that was resting in her lap and covered it with both of his. “Scully, it’s just me. We have literally been to the ends of the Earth together. The idea that you think a change in our personal relationship could negate all that makes me sad. I don’t worry about that at all, honestly. Maybe it’s naïve, but I see you as a permanent part of my life, regardless of whatever does or doesn’t happen. So it doesn’t really feel like a risk to me, just a new facet.”

Scully sighed deeply. “I hope that you’re right. It’s just a lot to take in, it’s overwhelming to think about all the possible outcomes.”

“So don’t think about all the possible outcomes. Just take it one day at a time. We can take this a slow as you want, or stop altogether, if you’d prefer. I only want this to be a source of joy for you. I….” He stopped to consider what he wanted to say next. His prolonged silence was enough for her to lift her head and meet his eye. He went on

“I want you to be happy, Scully. I would do pretty much anything if it means seeing you happy. If being with me makes you happy, I want that, very much. But if you see it as a source of pain and complication in your life then let’s not do this. I obviously have a preferred outcome here, but I will happily spend the rest of my career working with you as just your friend, if that’s what you want.”

She screwed up her mouth in a way he knew meant she was having a strong emotion but trying not to show it. Her hand still encased in his, she rested her head on his shoulder and spoke. He knew that she wanted to be close but also had a hard time looking at him. It was difficult for her to be vulnerable, and he took it as a huge compliment when she was able to be so with him. 

“I don’t want to stop, Mulder, or try to pretend it didn’t happen. I guess I just need time, and to take things slow. And maybe set some ground rules.”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

She straightened up and looked at him, more comfortable now that they were talking strategy. That, she could handle.

“Nothing can ever happen while we’re at work, or actively working a case. I think a big source of stress for me is that I’ve worked so hard to be seen as successful in my own right and not riding the coattails of a more successful man. People already suspect there’s something between us and the idea of validating that makes me nauseous. It’s one thing when they’re just rumors, but if they weren’t anymore…”

“Got it, discretion. I can do that. What else?”

“I don’t know, quite yet. I suppose I’ll let you know when it comes up.”

“That’s fine, but the key there is that you have to let me know. You have to talk to me. I can’t read your mind. Well, not anymore.” 

She laughed, but was also a little confused by the last remark. She decided not to ask about it. “I honestly feel a lot better after talking about it, Mulder. Thanks for making me.” Her smile was that content one he’d been chasing since New Years Eve.

“But to be clear, we still can’t directly mention WHAT it is that we’re talking about?” He was teasing her. 

“Of course we can. Omelettes, right?” She beamed at the cleverness of her own joke.

He beamed right back at her, captivated by the broadness of her smile, showing all her top teeth. She almost never smiled that way. Its infrequency meant that every time it happened, his heart leapt into his throat. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he had a feeling that would not meet her need to take things slow, so instead he leaned in and pressed his lips to the side of her neck, planting a tiny kiss. 

She felt her entire body tense as his lips touched her neck. She hadn’t been expecting it, in a bar with people around. She had never been very comfortable with public displays of affection, which was part of what threw her about their kiss by the river. Being seen in an intimate moment felt too exposed and vulnerable. It took so much for her to be comfortable letting one other person into her inner world, and she certainly didn’t want an audience for it. 

“Mulder? New rule.”

He pulled back quickly and looked at her with a mix of curiosity and concern. 

“No PDA. Even in another city.”

“Oh! Sorry. I guess it seemed like after what happened by the river…”

“I know, but no one was around. At first anyway.”

“Okay. Understood.”

There were several beats of silence. Mulder leaned into Scully and said lowly into her ear “I have to admit that I’m searching my brain for a private place I can take you that isn’t a shitty hotel.”

She laughed a little and then said “we should probably go, it’s late”

“Yeah, probably should.”

He stood and held out to his hand to help her up. They walked to the curb arm in arm and watched for a cab. The streets were empty at this late hour; aside from the other patrons in the bar and a car passing by every few minutes, you could almost imagine you were alone in the world. Scully looked up and down the street and, seeing no one, she turned her body so that they were front to front. 

“I don’t see anyone around, Mulder”

He looked to both sides of the street, confused at first about what she was referring to. She put her hand on his cheek and brushed her thumb over his bottom lip, and he understood. He leaned down and kissed her softly, lingering on her lips a little longer than necessary before pulling away. It was just a single kiss, but after the conversation they’d had it felt like it meant more than those that had come before it. Still nose to nose with her, he raised his arm to get the attention of a passing cab, releasing their embrace only when it had pulled to a stop next to them on the curb. Slipping in to the back seat, she scooted into him so that the sides of their bodies were flush and he draped his arm over her shoulder. They rode back to the hotel in silence, soaking up the last minutes of close contact before they’d need to return to real life.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

After the cab dropped them off in the parking lot of their hotel, they walked slowly back to Scully’s room arm in arm, in no rush for the night to be over. When they arrived at her door, she scanned the key card and held the door open with the weight of her body leaning against it. 

“I guess this is goodnight” Mulder said reluctantly.

“I guess so” she replied matter-of-factly.

“What happens tomorrow?” He asked earnestly.

Scully considered his question, letting out a small sigh before finally replying. “Well, we go back to work and life carries on. I’m not sure what else might happen, but I was encouraged to take it one day at a time and I plan to do just that.” She smiled at him then, a signal that he didn’t need to worry that this was the last night he may ever have the pleasure of kissing her. 

He smiled back in that impish way that she found crushingly cute. “Okay, well, on that note, goodnight. I think we need to kick out of here about 9 tomorrow to head to the airport, so I’ll swing by just before then.”

She nodded in response, still with a soft and happy expression on her face. Mulder turned and started the walk back to his room, listening for the click of her door closing. It took longer than he might have anticipated, but he did hear it close behind her, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. A grin broke out on his face and he chuckled a little. It had been over a year since he’d admitted to himself that the way he loved Scully went beyond friendship or their shared mission. He’d been prepared to spend the rest of his career and maybe his life not acting on that feeling, but he was glad that, against his own better judgement, he had. 

Arriving back at his room, he pulled off his sweater and undershirt, starting the shower. To say he was aroused was an understatement, and he anticipated a long hot shower and some quality time with his right hand would be the only way he’d get any sleep tonight. Just as he was about to take off his slacks and jump in, there was a knock at the door. Confused, he looked through the peep hole and was surprised and delighted to see Scully on the other side. When he opened the door to her, he hadn’t had a chance to say anything before she stepped forward and put her hands around the back of his neck, going to her tiptoes and pulling him into a kiss. After he recovered from his initial shock, he wrapped his arms around her hips and stood to his full height, picking her up off the floor. This kiss was intense and passionate, though they never moved beyond his open door. She lapped at his lips, tasted his tongue, her fingers scraping over his scalp. Finishing with a series of smaller, slower kisses, she pulled back and, taking her cue, he put her down. 

“Goodnight” she stammered, as if she had surprised herself. As quickly as she had appeared, she turned the corner and was gone back to her own room. Mulder stood there in the doorway for a moment before returning to the bathroom where the room was filling with steam. He was definitely going to need that hot shower.


	20. Chapter Twenty

The following morning, he packed his things and knocked gently on Scully’s door at 8:57. She answered in her standard pantsuit, her bag waiting neatly by the door. He’d felt excited to see her and was a little put off when she wasn’t all warm smiles and long glances. At first he thought she might be upset with him, but the more he observed her he noted that she was actually just acting perfectly normal, as though nothing had happened. She had told him that nothing could happen while they were working, and he realized now that this included even the tiniest expressions of intimacy beyond what was appropriate in the workplace. No knowing smiles, none of what Holman would have deemed “gazing,” and certainly no physical contact that hadn’t already been standard fare for them. He understood why that was important to her and he respected it completely, though right now it felt counter to his natural impulses. One day at a time, he told himself. 

They returned their rental car and settled in to their gate about 45 minutes before boarding. Scully pulled out her laptop to work on the case report, and Mulder ventured off to find a business center so he could check his email. He came back 30 minutes later and flopped down in the seat next to her, a classic Mulder indicator of irritation. Without looking up, she asked “what’s up?”

“Skinner emailed and said he’s not going to assign us any new cases for a few days because he wants us to completely re-do the filing system for our existing case files.” 

“Hm”

“‘Hm” is your only response?”

“I guess I don’t see why that’s such a big issue, Mulder”

“It’s just irritating being told how to file my own work. The current filing system makes sense to me, and I’m the only one who gets into it anyway, so why does he care how things are filed?”

Still not looking up, she countered “I also get into the files, Mulder.”

“Right, I know, you know what I meant,”

They sat in companionable silence for the next several minutes until it was announced over the loudspeaker that their flight was starting to board.

After an uneventful flight, they landed back in DC around three and headed into the office to get started on re-filing. Mulder’s feeling was that the sooner they completed it, the sooner Skinner would assign them a new case. 

Now here they were, sitting on the floor surrounded by piles of files waiting to be assigned to their new location. Scully still had the cockroach case file in her hand and was contemplating the state of she and Mulder’s relationship after all that had happened since the new year. 

“I’m thinking this one goes in ‘unsubstantiated’ Mulder, how about you? The cockroaches didn’t actually kill anyone.”

“I think that kid who sliced his own arm up might feel differently about that assessment.”

“He was high out of his mind! If I were that high I’d probably put a lot more stock in killer cockroaches myself.”

Mulder considered her for a moment. This wasn’t the first time she’d made a remark along the lines of ‘if I were that high’ and he’d always been curious as to whether she was speaking from experience. He never bothered to ask her, knowing that she’d scoff at the question and then carefully avoid answering it, but maybe things were different now. 

“Have you been that high, Scully?”

“High enough to slice my arm open and bleed to death? Apparently not.”

He laughed at her joke and waited a beat before continuing. He needed to tread carefully. “Well, maybe not that high, but have you ever been high at all?”

“Sure, on painkillers many times. I seem to find myself in need of them often in our line of work.”

There was that artful dodging he expected. “I’m not talking about legally prescribed drugs here, Scully.”

She put the file down and looked at him with a mildly irritated expression.”What are you talking about then, Mulder? Just ask whatever you’re asking instead of dancing around it.”

“Have you ever used drugs recreationally?”

She eyed him skeptically “why do you ask?”

“Oh you know me, always curious about the unknowable. I’d say Dana Scully falls well into that category.”

That got a little chuckle out of her, and she put the cockroach file in the “unsubstantiated” stack before picking up another one. “Well, I passed the screening requirements for the FBI, so that should tell you something.”

“It tells me that you used marijuana less than 15 times in your life.”

“Correct” she was looking at the file in her lap as though she were deeply engrossed in it, though he knew it was just a way to avoid eye contact. 

“But more than zero?”

“…correct.”

“Dana Katherine Scully! My entire worldview has shifted. I desperately need details.”

“What about you, Mulder? You ever smoked the reefer?” She was looking at him now, hoping this would be a ‘gotcha’ and take the attention off of her.

“Sure, a handful of times before I joined the bureau, but fewer than 15 of course. Now I usually wait until our ‘random’ but obviously annual drug test and then I get completely ripped with the gunmen and watch sci-fi movies all night. It’s become somewhat of a tradition.”

“Really?!”

He shrugged. She made a face that seemed to be both surprised and impressed, then returned to her case file. 

“Scully?”

“Yes?”

“I do plan to keep pestering you until you answer my question.”

She heaved a big sigh and set the case file down, looking at him. “Fine. Yes, I have smoked pot, less than 15 times in my life. Charlie used to bring it home from college when we were all there for Christmas break and he, Missy and I would smoke in the tool shed in the back yard. Knowing that my dad or Bill could have caught us was half the fun. Are you now satisfied?”

He was grinning ear to ear “very much so. Just one more question.”

“Shoot” she said with resignation. 

“Would you smoke it now?”

“Mulder, we are FBI agents. That should answer your question.”

“Not really. People do things all the time that they aren’t supposed to do, even you. I’m wondering if this particular item falls into a category of ‘would never’ or ‘maybe, under the right circumstances.’”

“I suppose I could conceive of circumstances under which I’d be willing to take that risk, though I can’t rightly say what those might be, at this time.”

Was his grin even wider now? She suppressed her own smile and shook her head. 

“Are we done with this conversation now, Mulder?”

“for now, G-Woman.”


	21. Chapter 21

Feeling the need for a break from each other, they each returned to their apartments that night and ate dinner in solitude. They were on track to finish the re-filing assignment the following day, which would allow them to return to the field sooner. 

Back in the comfort of her own bed, Scully spent a lot of time that evening thinking about her encounters thus far with Mulder, and wondering about those that were yet to come. She still felt nervous and afraid, but also curious and excited. She ran the batteries out on her vibrator before finally falling asleep with the windows open, the room temperature having risen by several degrees from her activities. 

Mulder had run out his own tension with a visit to the basketball courts at the nearby YMCA, followed by a very hot, very long shower during which he was almost able to convince himself that his own hand belonged to Scully. Thinking about the fact that his fantasy of Scully’s hand tight around his cock may be reality in the not too distant future felt impossible, but he was hopeful. 

The following morning, Scully woke with a start at 6:06, though she could have sworn her clock read 666 before the power flickered. She had a strange, ominous feeling, but she pushed it aside and got ready for work. When she stepped in to the office, she found Mulder and Skinner talking in serious, hushed tones. 

“What’s going on?” She asked. 

Mulder looked at her with a bit of trepidation, like he was afraid to tell her. 

“Mulder, what is it?”

“I need to fly out for a case, Scully, but I want you to stay here and keep working on the files.”

“Excuse me?” She challenged, not liking the idea of sitting around doing secretarial work while Mulder was in the field.

“I just, I think you need to stay back on this one, Scully.”

“Somebody better tell me what the hell is going on. Now.”

Mulder looked to Skinner, asking him to deliver the news. 

“Agent Scully, Donnie Pfaster escaped from federal prison this morning.”

There was pause while she absorbed the information. 

“How?” She finally mustered.

Now Mulder spoke “we’re not sure, he appears to have just walked out the front door. But that’s what I’m going to look into.”

“WE are going to look into it, Mulder.”  
“Scully….I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“It’s not up for negotiation.” She stated firmly, crossing her arms. She was getting her hackles up, and he could already tell there would be no convincing her, so he didn’t try any further.”

“Okay. Flight leaves in an hour and a half.”

She turned on her heel to head back to her apartment and get her overnight bag. 

Mulder was worried. Beyond worried, he was scared. He had never seen Scully as shell-shocked as she was after Pfaster abducted her. He felt like she barely came out of that in one piece, mentally, and he wasn’t sure she could do it again. He also had selfish motivations for wanting her to stay behind. His feelings about her were so much bigger now, and seeing her go through that or, god forbid, harmed was something he desperately wanted to avoid. Despite his worries, he managed to make it through the flight and their debriefing with the police before he brought it up again, imploring her to go home. He wasn’t surprised that she refused, but he had to try. In an attempt to quell his own nervous energy and fears for Scully, he cracked a few jokes and dismissed her feeling that having heard the same song three times in one day meant something. He made a rather obtuse comment about her speaking to God and instantly regretted it. He was pushing her away, in a self protective move. He was relieved when they found Orison dead and could close the case, though Pfaster was still at large. He just wanted to go back to digging through files and finish out the work week, so that he might spend some time with her this weekend, off-duty. They returned to DC mostly in silence, and he bid her a sullen good evening, looking forward to seeing her the next day with a clean slate. 

After he returned home, Mulder showered and got ready for bed. While he brushed his teeth, he thought about the first case with Pfaster and the profile they’d written up for him. How he hated women and wanted to punish them. He wondered what Pfaster’s next move was, if they’d hear more about dead prostitutes in the coming days. A memory came to him then, one he’d pushed away because it made him feel sick. The way Pfaster had looked at Scully, when they got to her at his mother’s house in Florida. He’d looked at her the same way at his trial, as she testified about what he did to her and asked that they not consider the death penalty. It was a look of longing, and regret. At the time he wondered if maybe Donnie regretted what he did to Scully, though psychopaths aren’t known for their conscience. Now he thought that it may have been more of a hungry look, like he regretted not being able to finish what he started. He had the thought that he should call her and make sure she got home okay, but he decided not to. She was more likely to be annoyed at his fussing than touched by his concern, so instead he set his alarm a little early for the next morning, planning to pick up a fancy coffee for her (a treat she enjoyed but almost never indulged in). Testing the volume on his clock radio for the alarm, he almost didn’t catch the song that was playing. It was that same song Scully had heard multiple times that seemed to hold meaning for her. He felt a pit in his stomach, like something was wrong. He rinsed off his toothbrush and picked up the phone to call her, prepared to piss her off so he didn’t have to worry. No answer. Walking into the living room, he saw the light blinking on his answering machine and hit play. What he heard made his stomach drop into his knees; Pfaster had lost it on a working girl when he realized she wasn’t really a red head. He grabbed his gun and his jacket and made the 25 minute drive in 15 minutes flat, his heart pounding in his ears the entire way. 

He looked at her in stunned silence. She had just unloaded half the clip of her gun into Pfaster, though Mulder had him under control. She looked hurt; blood leaked from her nose and the remnants of restraints remained around her wrists, ankles and neck. Mulder holstered his gun and checked Pfaster, who was very, very dead. Blood was beginning to pool around his lifeless body, and Mulder stepped over it to get to Scully, taking her gun from her and gently putting his arm around her shoulder, guiding her into her bedroom, away from the body. It was a fucking disaster; glass and broken mirror littered every surface. He shook the comforter free of debris and sat her down before putting her gun in the drawer of her bedside table (much later, he’d recall that he also saw a vibrator sitting in that same drawer, but now was not the time to think about that). Sitting down beside her, he gently placed his hand on her lower back. 

“Are you okay?”

She didn’t respond, he wasn’t sure she knew he was there. 

“Scully, I need to call the police, okay?”

She nodded almost imperceptibly, staring straight ahead. He called it in first to the local PD, and then called AD Skinner, keeping the conversation short so he could get back to her as soon as possible. When he returned, she was sitting in the exact same place, same position, staring ahead. He ducked into the living room to grab a blanket off the sofa, confirmed that Pfaster was still there, still dead, and went to her, draping the blanket over her shoulders before kneeling between her knees. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes, which seemed far away. 

“Scully?”

“Hm?” She replied, breaking her trance and looking a bit surprised to find him there in front of her. 

“Are you okay?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“Did he hurt you?”

She took a deep breath before responding “yes and no. I think I probably have some abrasions and cuts on my back. He slammed me against that mirror. Knocked me around quite a bit, but I’m alive so that’s good.” She delivered it deadpan, though it almost sounded like a joke. He nodded in approval. He’d seen her worse. She was worse the last time Pfaster got to her. 

“Mulder?” She sounded scared.

“What is it, Scully?”

“I murdered him. You had him, and I killed him. I’m not sure why I did that.”

“I think we both know why you did that, Scully. But don’t worry about it right now. All that matters is that you’re okay, and he can’t hurt anyone else. Do you want some water, or tea or anything?”

She shook her head. 

“Okay. The police are going to be here soon, and they’re going to question you. Promise me you won’t say you murdered him, okay? This was self defense, Scully.”  
She nodded. 

“Promise me.” It was a demand, not a request. 

“Okay, Mulder. I promise.”

He stood, leaned forward to place a kiss near the top of her forehead, and retrieved her gun from the drawer (again, there was the vibrator, but now isn’t the time) and set it on top of her dresser, knowing it would be bagged as evidence. Then he sat down next to her and took her hand, and they waited. 

After she’d been questioned and Pfaster’s body had been taken away by the coroner, her overnight bag packed and her pajamas bagged as evidence, it was nearing 5am and the sun was starting to rise. She had changed into sweats and a baggy t shirt, no bra or underwear as her adrenaline wore off and her injuries made their presence known. An EMT had looked her over and suggested that she go to the hospital to be checked for fractures or a concussion, but Scully insisted that she’d know if she had any fractures or a concussion and she’d monitor herself. They walked out of her building, past the neighbors trying to catch a glimpse of whatever happened, past the ambulance and squad cars, to Mulder’s car that was parked haphazardly in a loading zone. They didn’t discuss where they were going. Mulder was afraid if he asked, she’d tell him to take her to her mother’s house and he wanted her close. Silently, he helped her ease herself into the passenger seat and shared her pained expression when her wounded back made contact. Gingerly buckling her in, he jogged to the drivers side and started the car. The drive that had taken him 15 minutes a few hours prior took nearly 45 as he took every turn gently, braked carefully and otherwise tried to make the ride as easy on her as possible. They didn’t speak, but he glanced over at her what was probably hundreds of times, trying to read her expression and understand where she was, emotionally. He decided this was a time where he needed to take initiative, because she didn’t really know what she wanted or needed right now. She was just surviving. He parked illegally right in front of his building to make her walk shorter and helped her out of the car, holding her bag and her arm as they made their way inside. While they rode the elevator up, she leaned into him a little, for comfort or stability he wasn’t sure, but he would was here for it either way. After he unlocked his apartment door for her, she walked directly into his bedroom and crawled on top of the comforter, laying down on her belly to keep the pressure off her back. 

“I need to move my car, Scully, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, okay?”

“Okay” she answered flatly. She was drained. 

Grabbing his cell phone, he called and ordered a pizza on the walk down (thankful that his intimate knowledge of all the pizza places and what hours they will deliver), and practically ran back up after moving his car to a spot half a block away. When he opened the door, he heard her call out

“Mulder?” There was a hint of panic in her voice. 

“It’s me, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just making sure it was you” the flatness had returned. Which was better than panic. 

“I ordered some food, Scully. Do you want to take a shower?” 

“Yeah, I do. I’m not sure I have the energy, though.”

“I’ll help you,” he said as he walked into the bathroom and started rummaging through the medicine cabinet. After finding what he was looking for, he sat down beside her on the bed. “I know that probably sounds like I’m trying to get you naked, but it’s a completely honest offer. Here, take these.”

She pushed herself up into a sitting position, too tired to acknowledge his joke. “What is it?”

“Percocet, left over from when those zombies just about ripped my arm off.”

She took the pills and the glass of water he offered her, swallowing them down. 

“Okay, let’s get this over with” she said, standing and walking into the bathroom. After the water was ready at the right temperature, Mulder stood just outside the door while she undressed and stepped into the shower. The water washing over her chest and face felt nice, and she looked over her arms, torso and legs, noting various small cuts and developing bruises. She turned to let the water touch her back and winced loudly, immediately turning back around. 

“You okay, Scully?”

“Yeah. Would you come here for a second?”

He walked in and stood just outside the shower curtain. 

“What do you need?”

“Will you just look at my back and tell me how bad it is? I’m not sure whether it’s mostly cuts or just bruises.”

He pulled the shower curtain open slowly on the end further from the shower head. She stood with her back to him, and the first thing his eyes went to was her ass, glistening and as incredible as he may have ever hoped it would be. Next he noticed her tattoo, which he’d had occasion to see very infrequently, and, he noted, always in situations where Scully was hurt or otherwise vulnerable. He hoped that fact would change soon. He only had a moment of perverted thoughts before he saw the red marks on her hips, starting to darken and become what would be black and purple bruises within a few hours. Lifting his eyes to her back, he cringed at the network of tiny scrapes and cuts and the mottled, damaged skin. 

“That bad?”

“No, it’s not that bad. Mostly bruises. The paramedic already said that nothing needed stitches, but we should clean them up.”

He went to the kitchen and got some unscented antibacterial soap he kept around for such things and returned to her. 

“Can I wash your back? It’s probably gonna hurt like hell but I’ll do my best.”

She took a deep breath, bracing herself. “Okay.”

First he washed his hands, then filled his palm with soap and gingerly spread it across the tops of her shoulders. Working carefully, he tended to each cut, washing out any bacteria that could cause an infection. He went top to bottom, stopping very low on her back. There was one small cut on her ass cheek, but he decided that it was best to let the soap that had already run over it be good enough. He didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was. Next he grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with water from the shower head and poured it over her back to remove the soap. He repeated this until all the soap was gone and her wounds were clean. 

“Thank you” she said in a dreamy tone. The Percocet was probably starting to hit her. 

He left her to finish tending to her other wounds and set a clean towel out on the counter, putting her overnight bag in the room as well so she could put on clean clothes. A knock at the door told him the pizza was here and just as he was setting plates out on the coffee table, she emerged in a fresh pair of sweats and a t shirt, looking a little less battered.

“Oh my god, that smells amazing” she mused, easing herself down onto the couch. She ate slowly, the food meeting her final need and her body now ready for sleep. She set her plate on the table and lay down, resting her head on the arm of the couch. 

“Don’t sleep here, Scully. It’s uncomfortable. Come sleep in the bed, I’ll take the couch.”

He pulled her to her feet and escorted her to the bedroom, tucking her in very tenderly. Sitting on the edge of the bed beside her, he forced a smile. 

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite. I don’t have bed bugs, so if that happens, they came from your place.”

She smiled back weakly, then her expression fell. “Mulder?”

“What is it?”

“Will you stay in here with me? I feel kind of….afraid, to be alone.” He could tell that she was embarrassed by the admission. 

“Of course, Scully. Whatever you need.”

“Thanks.” Her voice was a little choked, like she was trying not to cry. 

He turned off the lights, closed the blinds and curtains to keep out as much daylight as possible and changed into sweats before climbing into bed beside her. He didn’t touch her, both because he didn’t want to hurt her and also because he didn’t want her to think he was trying to make a move. After a few minutes, he felt her hand brush against his and he took it, squeezing once. He waited until her breath was slow and steady and he was sure she was asleep before he allowed himself to drift off.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

He woke with a start to the sound of her screaming. She was sitting up, flailing wildly and shouting “no, no no no no!” He grabbed at her arms, trying to bring her back to reality.

“Scully, stop, it’s me, you’re safe!” But she didn’t seem to hear him. 

“Stop touching me, get the hell away from me!” She screeched, pounding her fists against his chest. 

He jumped from the bed and went to the wall, flipping the light on. She winced and shielded her eyes, but as they adjusted she took in her surroundings and started to calm down. Then she started sobbing. He turned the light back off and went to her. 

“Scully, it’s okay, you’re safe. I’m here.” He pleaded, brushing his hands up and down over her arms. He wanted to hold her, but he was afraid it would be too painful. 

“I’m sorry, Mulder. I had a dream. I thought you were Pfaster” she choked out. 

“It’s okay, Scully, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He climbed back into bed and checked the time; it was just past 8. They’d only been asleep for a couple hours, but the sky outside had darkened with clouds to the point that it may as well have been night. 

“Come here” he directed her, allowing her to decide how close “here” would mean, to let her take what she needed from him. To his surprise but also relief, she slid over to where he was laying on his back and pressed the entire length of the front of her body against the side of his, keeping the pressure off her back. The arm that was now threaded underneath her shoulders went to her hair and gently scratched at her scalp. His other hand clasped hers, which she had rested on his chest. He turned and placed a kiss on her forehead and she moved her top leg to wrap it over his. They were entwined now, in a full and intimate embrace. He felt incredibly protective over her, and his heart ached at the pain she was in, both physically and emotionally. He continued to stroke her hair and intermittently squeeze her hand until she fell back asleep. He stayed awake for a long while, enjoying her closeness and thinking about how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her again, but it wouldn’t be fair to do that to her right now; she had enough to deal with. He listened to her steady breathing, making sure she was really asleep. He tilted his head down so that he could see her face resting comfortably on his chest, dimly illuminated by the light creeping in around the blinds. She was so beautiful. Brushing his lips against her cheek, he whispered so lowly that he could barely hear himself. 

“I love you.”

She stayed with him for 5 days while her apartment was worked as a crime scene, and then cleaned up by a special crew that knew how to get Pfaster’s blood out of her hardwood flooring. The rug was a total loss, as was the shelf in her bedroom. Skinner went over a few times to check on the progress and called Mulder with updates. There would be no trial, it was ruled self defense and Pfaster was cremated after his autopsy. No one would be coming to claim his ashes. 

They spent their days napping, doing crosswords, reading novels and watching movies (Scully got to pick all the movies, as the injured party). On the 5th day, Skinner called to share the autopsy results with Mulder, as well as to let him know that Scully’s apartment was clear and she could return whenever she was ready. Her bruises had fully developed and were now fading to shades of green and yellow. She was sleeping better, spending each night curled around Mulder as her security blanket. Last night her back had felt healed enough that he was able to spoon her, which he thoroughly enjoyed, even though he spent most of the night pleading with his dick not to poke her in the ass. He’d made no attempts at physical intimacy, correctly reading that she was not available for that right now. He hung up the phone call with skinner and sat beside her on the couch.

“French article, three letters. Last letter is ‘s’” she prompted him. 

“Les” he returned, and she nodded in approval. “Who was that?” She asked, not looking up from the page. 

“Skinner. He said you can go home whenever you’re ready. There’s no rush, Scully, you can stay here as long as you want. He also said that the coroner who did Pfaster’s autopsy told him that while the cause of death was blood loss due to 5 gunshot wounds, he could also plainly see that Pfaster had his ass kicked before the shots that killed him.”

She smirked at the newspaper. They were silent for a few minutes. 

“I think I should go home, Mulder. I have to go back eventually.”

“Are you sure you’re ready, Scully? Do you want me to come stay with you there?”

“No, Mulder, you don’t need to stay. I’d like it if you’d come with me when I go back in, but then you should go.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want. But if you change your mind, I’m happy to stay.”

“Thank you.” She smiled warmly and took his hand. 

As they pulled in front of her building, Scully felt a little sick. She wasn’t sure she was really ready for this, but she wanted to get it over with and get back to some semblance of normal. She wanted to get to a place where she could continue to explore the new side of her relationship with Mulder, and that wasn’t going to happen until he was sure that she was mentally well. She knew him well enough to know that he would never be with her in that way if he thought she wasn’t thinking clearly. He respected her too much to take that risk. So she would just have to push through and get to the other side of this whole ordeal, and that started with going home. 

Mulder carried her bag but let her lead the way. When they reached her door, she hesitated for a moment and then turned to face him. 

“Will you go in first? I know that’s ridiculous, I just-“

“It’s not ridiculous, Scully. Of course I will.”

He took the keys from her and she gave him a small smile of gratitude. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, flipping on the light switch. Everything looked and smelled very clean. Some of the furniture that had been broken beyond repair was missing. He set her bag down by the door and held his hand out to her. She took it and let him lead her through the living room, into her bedroom and into the bathroom. He opened up the closet and turned on the light so she could look inside. 

“How are you doing?” He asked, peering at her curiously. 

“Um, okay. I think. “

“I can stick around for a bit, while you get situated?”

“Uh, sure, that’s-that would be nice. Thank you.”

He sat on the sofa while she unpacked her things and moved some furniture and decorative items back to their proper homes. When she was done, she sat down beside him. 

“Do you want to order dinner?” He inquired.

“No, Mulder I think you should go. I just need to be here and make it feel like home again.”

“Scully, if that seems like too much, too soon, I can stay, I don’t mind.”

“I appreciate that, Mulder, but I’ll be okay. Thank you for letting me stay with you.”

“I liked having you there.” He looked at her for a moment, trying to decide if he should kiss her, beg to stay. “Please promise that if you feel scared or freaked out, or anything at all, you’ll call me. I’m happy to come over.”

“Okay, Mulder, I will.”

She walked him to the door where he pulled her into a long embrace before he let her kick him out. 

“Bye, Mulder.”

He gave her a tiny wave and sad puppy dog eyes, and walked away. 

.................................................

She should have had him stay. This was awful. It was 3am and she was awake, wired, tuned in to every creak and pop in her apartment building. Every sound was Pfaster about to burst into the room. She’d tried closing the closet with the light out, closing it with the light on, door open light off and door open light on. None of them could convince her that he wasn’t in there. She ended up on the couch in the living room, TV on to provide noise that would drown out the other, ominous, noises. She turned to look around the room at regular intervals, making sure no one was there. Her weapon was sitting on the coffee table in front of her. A few times she dozed off but then would jerk awake, alarmed that she’d missed something important, searching the apartment again to make sure no one was there. She knew she should call Mulder, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wanted him to see her as strong, not a little bird he needed to protect. She just had to make it to daylight. 

At 4:30 the edges of the inky sky started to brighten, and she grabbed her coat, shoes and wallet and was out the door. She walked 4 blocks to a gas station and approached the counter. 

“A pack of Morleys, please”

Mulder had been awake until 2, watching the phone, checking it to make sure the volume was up, calling it from his cell to confirm that it was working. She didn’t call, and while he was disappointed he was also glad, because that meant she was doing okay. He decided to call her first thing in the morning, and faded into sleep. 

He awoke at 7 and checked his machine to make sure he hadn’t missed her call. There was nothing, and his cell and land line both appeared to be in working order. He showered and then called her apartment, getting her machine after several rings. He tried her cell but it was off and went straight to voicemail. He called her apartment again, this time leaving a long rambling message asking her to pick up, in case she was screening his call. He was starting to feel that pit in his stomach again. Pfaster was dead, so there was no logical reason to be afraid something had happened to her, but he still felt fear. He called her over and over for the next 5 minutes until he was sure she either wasn’t home, or she was home and something was wrong. He grabbed his coat and keys and this time he made the drive in only 20 minutes. 

As soon as he pulled onto her block, he saw her. She was sitting on the front stoop of her apartment building, bundled up in her winter coat. He was relieved to see that she was okay, but also confused about why she was sitting outside. After he parked a half a block away, he was walking towards her when he saw the thin plume of smoke wafting from her hand. She was smoking. Maybe last night didn’t go well after all. 

“Hey, Smokey.” He gently chided her as he got within earshot. 

“Shit.” She hissed to herself as she threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. As he approached, he saw it was just one of a pile of cigarette butts. She’d been out here a while. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

“Are you okay, Scully?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. I didn’t sleep well.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Why didn’t you call me?”

She let out a puff of air and dropped her head down between her shoulders. “I don’t know. I should have, probably.”

“Come on, let’s go inside.”

“Why?”

“Well first for you to take a shower because you smell like an ashtray. But then so we can take a nap.”

Her chin quivered a little, with relief, he guessed. She was clearly beyond exhausted. She followed him inside where she took a shower, scrubbed the cigarettes from her hair, brushed the tobacco off her teeth, put on pajama pants and a t shirt, and crawled in to bed. Mulder was already there, on top of the comforter, waiting for her. After she lay down with her back to him, he curled his body around hers, the blankets a barrier between them, his arm draped over her waist, and gave her three small kisses between the corner of her mouth and her ear. 

“Get some rest, Scully. I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you” she squeaked out, and he knew that she was crying. She didn’t have enough energy to cry for long, and within a minute or to she was gently snoring. He watched her sleep for a long time and then he dozed off himself. After having her there all week, he found that he slept much more soundly when she was by his side.


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

She let him stay that night, but insisted he sleep on the couch, the theory being that she would wean herself off having him with her while she slept. She did wake several times, and the closet did disturb her with it’s possible contents, but each time she got up and poked her head into the living room to confirm that Mulder was there. 

Mulder slept lightly, waking each time he heard Scully’s feet hit the floor. He cracked one eye open and saw her red hair peek out from around the corner before she returned to bed, and after the third time he gathered that she was just making sure he was still there. He woke at 5 when the sun started streaming in through the open windows onto his face and tip toed over to peek into her bedroom. She was sleeping peacefully, and he wanted more than anything to burrow in beside her and press his nose into her neck, taking in her smell and her warmth. His dick got a little hard just thinking about it, so instead he left her a note and drove home. He knew she wasn’t ready, and he also knew she was worth waiting for. 

When she woke up in the morning, which was a Sunday, he was gone. She surprised herself with how disappointed she felt not to get to have breakfast with him. The practical part of her mind chastised the emotional part for getting attached to cohabitating with him so quickly and decided to be glad he left so she could get one step closer to being independent again. Going to start a pot of coffee, she saw his note on the counter and smiled. 

Scully,   
I know you want to get back to normal and I thought waking up without my sorry ass on your couch might be a step in the right direction. I hope you slept better, see you at work tomorrow.   
Mulder  
P.S. I think now is the time to tell you that you snore. It’s very charming, don’t sweat it.

She read the note over and over with a swooning grin on her face. Now that she had a chance to miss him, she was feeling schoolgirl-like butterflies thinking about seeing him tomorrow. She actually went to her closet to pick out an outfit that she thought he might like. That day felt closer to normal than she had in a while as she shopped for groceries, called her mother, and thought about what she would do with and to Mulder when she was over this experience. 

As the sun started to set, the giddy feeling she’d had all day long sank into anxious knots. She didn’t think she would sleep without Mulder here, but she also couldn’t bring herself to call him. It felt like a step backward, and she only wanted to move forward. Now as it neared 9pm, she was fussing around her apartment, trying to find some feeling of calm. She was wearing a light grey fitted T shirt and white cotton shorts; though there was still a nip in the late winter weather, she liked to turn up her heat, put on a fire and be underdressed sometimes. It made her feel like a kid in California, hanging around in the summer. Right now she needed all the nostalgia and creature comforts she could summon. To that end, she was also eating a popsicle and sitting next to the open window with a lit cigarette between her middle and index finger. Playing on the stereo was Steve Miller Band’s Greatest Hits, which reminded her of the summer after her senior year of high school. 

That summer she’d found her rebellious streak and spent her nights smoking and kissing every boy she knew her father and brother would hate. The song currently playing, Abracadabra, brought forth a memory of sitting in the back seat of a Cadillac with some guy whose name she can’t remember anymore. As Steve Miller sang “every time you call my name, I heat up like a burnin flame” she had given her first blow job, jumping in surprise when a hot spurt of cum hit the back of her throat without any warning. Not knowing what else to do or what the etiquette was for this kind of thing, she swallowed it, to which the nameless guy had said “holy shit, you’re the coolest chick ever.” She wasn’t sure what that meant, but when she told Melissa about it later that night, Missy informed her that every guy wants girls to swallow their cum, but most won’t do it. She had felt some sense of pride in not only that moment, but the many times since she had kept going when a man she was sucking off said “I’m gonna cum” and the delight and additional pleasure they seemed to experience when she stayed the course until his dick stopped throbbing. 

She had this faraway memory dancing in her mind, distracting her from the night ahead when she heard three light taps on the door. Confused and suspicious, she put out her cigarette on the dessert plate she was using for an ashtray, threw the popsicle into the sink and stepped over to the door to look through the peep hole. When she saw Mulder on the other side, she was flooded with relief and opened the door immediately. He was dressed in jeans and a black t shirt under his black leather jacket with a paper bag tucked under his arm, and she had the strong impulse to pull him to her and kiss him, but suddenly remembered that she had just been smoking, again. He was looking her over curiously, and that led her to remember that she was barely dressed. Her formerly happy expression turned embarrassed. 

“Hi, Mulder. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I can tell” he said, suppressing a smile. 

“Come in” she offered, smiling sheepishly in return.

“The outfit I’m a big fan of, Scully, but I will admit I don’t love the perfume.”

“Sorry. I know it’s disgusting.”

“It’s understandable, given the circumstance.”

“I’ll be right back, make yourself comfortable.”

She brushed her teeth, sprayed perfume in her hair and changed into a loose fitting Grateful Dead t shirt and black leggings. As she walked back into the living room, she stopped to turn the thermostat down and left the window open so some of the heat could escape. Mulder had removed his jacket and shoes and was sitting on the couch. 

“It’s hot as hell in here”

“Yeah, sorry, one of many things I was doing to make myself happy in the hopes of eventual sleep”

She turned the music down a bit before sitting down next to him, bending one leg under herself so she was turned towards him. 

“Was one of the things on that list going to be to call me?” It was a rhetorical question. 

“I’m very stubborn, Mulder.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

She saw that he had a glass in his hand.

“Whatcha got there?”

“This? Oh, it’s whiskey. Want some?”

“Sure. What’s the occasion?”

He stood and went to pour her a glass.

“Nothing in particular. You coming back to work tomorrow, I guess? Both of us going back to work, really.”

He handed her the glass. She would have preferred it with ice but he hadn’t asked, so she sipped it neat. 

“Thanks” she whispered hoarsely after her first taste, her throat burning. 

He looked at her for a moment without speaking, though it seemed like there was something he wanted to say. She sat with the discomfort of his intense gaze on her, flicking her eyes up to his and then looking at her glass, then the coffee table and back to Mulder. Unsure how to break the tension, she went with a childhood favorite. Locking eyes with him, she asked

“Would you like to take a picture, Mulder? It’ll last longer” and she couldn’t help but smile at her own stupid joke. 

Mulder broke into a smile as well. “Yeah, actually, I would.”

She shook her head and sipped at her glass. 

Needing a way through the intense moment, Mulder grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. Scully got up to turn off the music, close the window, and then sat back down. He noted that her new seat was closer to him, but didn’t remark on it. He settled on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and between the two of them, they knew every answer before the contestants had a chance to use any lifelines or make any guesses. He had poured them each another glass of whiskey and Scully was feeling very relaxed, but still had the knowledge in the back of her mind that he would eventually leave and she’d be alone. 

“Here’s the plan, Scully. I’ll go on the show and you can be my phone a friend.”

“Why wouldn’t I go on the show and YOU be the phone a friend?”

“I can’t see you going on any game show that isn’t Jeopardy. You’re too serious.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“This show is campy. You’re not campy.”

“I can be campy” She said defensively.

“You are many things, Dana Scully, but campy isn’t one of them.”

He took both their empty glasses and set them in the sink, deciding not to pour any more. He knew they both had a good buzz and he didn’t want things to get…fuzzy. He first went to use the bathroom, and then returned to sit on the couch, close enough that the sides of their thighs touched. 

“Bad news, Scully. I had too much to drink. I can’t drive home.” He leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. 

She was flooded with relief, quickly followed by suspicion. Turning to face him, she spoke. 

“Mulder. Was that your plan when you came over here?”

“What do you mean?” His eyes were still closed.

“This was an elaborate scheme to stay the night?”

“First of all, it’s not elaborate at all.” He opened his eyes and lifted his head to look at her. “Secondly, I don’t know why you won’t just tell me that you want me here, or need me here. I don’t know why you want to pretend that you don’t, but I can’t let you do that to yourself. So, as your friend, I made the executive decision that I am staying here tonight. The booze is just a convenient excuse, but if we’re putting all our cards on the table…”

She averted her gaze and made that scrunched smile that he knew meant she was touched. 

In truth she was touched that he came to be with her, despite her protestations. He knew she needed him. And she did need him, though she was unhappy with the idea of her needing a man for anything. More than that, she wanted him. The past week spent physically so close had been an important part of her starting to feel safe again, though the closeness had been very platonic for her (she suspected, however, that Mulder was fighting off other urges as he was careful to keep his pelvis a safe distance from her). Tonight felt different. For the first time since Pfaster escaped prison, she felt that spark of desire and the urge to touch him in ways that were not for comfort, but pleasure. 

“You’re a good friend, Mulder.”

“Well, takes one to know one” He said, brushing the backs of his knuckles against the hand that was resting on her knee. Before he could pull it away she grabbed it, weaving her fingers between his. She kept her eyes trained on their hands clasped together, but she could feel his eyes on her. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch, Scully. So you can pretend I’m not here.”

She looked at him then. “I don’t want to pretend you’re not here, Mulder.” The confidence in her gaze and the suggestive tone in her voice surprised him and he swallowed hard. He felt his dick stir in his jeans. 

“Scully…I don’t want to rush back into anything after what you’ve been through.”

“Who said anything about rushing?” She asked coyly. He loved it when she was flirtatious. It was so rare from her. For most people, being casual and joking around were things you did with someone you just met, to break the ice. For Dana Scully, letting her serious, no-nonsense demeanor fall away into smiles and poking fun was the most intimate thing she could do. It was an indication of how much she trusted him, and he never took it for granted. 

“I suppose we’re very accomplished at taking things slow, aren’t we?” His tone was mock-serious.

“If there were an award for such things, I’m sure we would have received it” she countered. 

It was past ten, which would typically be the time she went to sleep on a work night. Mulder was a night owl and had been running on fumes for years. She yawned and leaned her head against his shoulder. Their hands were still entwined on her lap.

“I’m going to go to bed” she said matter of factly. He nodded in response, though she couldn’t see it from her vantage point. “You coming with me?”

She also didn’t see the smile that broke out on his face, but she heard it in his voice when he said “I’d be a very stupid man if I said no to that.”


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

She brushed her teeth and washed her face with a racing heart. She wanted whatever was about to happen to happen, but she was nervous. She didn’t want to rush, but she wasn’t sure she trusted herself not to, so she resolved that they should talk about it. Her white cotton shorts were sitting on top of the laundry basket and she picked them up and smelled them to see if they smelled like cigarette smoke. They did not, so she slipped off her leggings and put them back on. For a moment she considered changing into sexier panties and cleaning up a bit, but then decided that they should NOT be visiting that particular base yet and hoped the lack of preparedness would help her exercise restraint. She did however run her hands over her bare legs to confirm they were still smooth from when she’d shaved that morning. Feeling satisfied that she was sufficiently put together enough for close contact but not enough for sex, she grabbed a new-in-the-box toothbrush from under the sink and left it on the counter for him. Opening the door to her bedroom, she found Mulder standing on the other side in just his boxer shorts and she jumped in surprise, then smiled at her own awkwardness. He looked delicious; long and lean with a smooth chest, taut skin over sleek muscles and a trail of dark hair beneath his belly button that disappeared under the waistband of his underwear.

“Sorry, I was just gonna go to the bathroom” he said with a shy smile. 

She slipped by him and he went in and shut the door. She wasn’t sure what to do now; would it be weird if she got in the bed? Should she turn the lights off or leave them on? She decided to turn on the bedside lamp and turn off the overhead light, then she sat on the bed, cross legged on top of the covers, and grabbed her clock radio so she had something to actively do when he entered the room. When she heard Mulder turn the door handle, she started to set her alarm for the next morning. She didn’t look up at him as he walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers back, sliding underneath. She guessed he felt exposed in only his underwear, and she’d been surprised to see that’s what he was sleeping in, but what else would he sleep in? Not jeans, and she didn’t have any sweats that would fit him. After she’d set her alarm, she put it back on the night stand and turned the light off before she drew back he covers on her side and joined him underneath them. They lay side by side on their backs in the dark. The sexual tension that had been between them on the couch was now overtaken by nerves and uncertainty. They each weren’t sure they knew what the other wanted right now, and then Scully remembered her thought in the bathroom. Still looking towards the ceiling, she spoke. 

“It may be a good idea, perhaps, to talk about…what we’re each comfortable with, or…want?”

She cringed at how awkwardly it came out.

“I think that’s a good idea. I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“Likewise.”

There was a beat of silence while they each waited to see if the other would go first. Mulder turned toward her to lie on his side, his arm folded under his head. 

“Scully…if I’m being completely honest, there’s pretty much nothing I wouldn’t do with, for or to you. But I don’t want to rush you, because I know that will end up freaking you out. I want it to be your choice, what happens and when. I’ll follow your lead. Is that too much pressure on you?”

She rolled her head to the side to look at him and then shook it slowly. Turning the rest of her body on it’s side to face him, she slid forward and pressed the front of her body against his, her arms wrapped around his waist to rest on his bare back and her head tucked into his chest under his chin. She threaded her bottom leg between his and looped her top leg over his thigh. Taking a deep inhale, filling her lungs with his smell, she gently dug her fingers into the flesh of his back and then exhaled deeply, a small “mmmm” vibrating in her throat. She had never in her life felt more safe and content than she did in his arms, and though she wished she hadn’t gone through what she did with Pfaster, in this moment she wouldn’t take it back if it meant not knowing this feeling. 

Mulder brought his free arm up to stroke her hair, and continued sliding it down her neck, shoulders, back, and finally over the curve of her ass until it rested on the back of her bare thigh where he gripped firmly and pulled her even more closely to him. 

She tipped her face up toward him and he bent his head down to press his lips to hers, and they both sighed at the contact. She brushed her tongue along his bottom lip and he tugged at her thigh again, thrusting her pelvis against his hip. She felt a surge of desire and slid her hand down the length of his back until her fingers slipped into the elastic of his boxers, resting near the top of his bare ass cheek. His skin was so smooth, for a man. She dug her fingernails into his skin and he thrusted against her again, a little groan slipping from his mouth into hers as he kissed her. Suddenly he pulled out of the kiss and brought his lips to her ear. 

“Scully, I need to you to tell me what my boundaries are here. What’s off limits?”

She panted into the top of his shoulder. She wanted to say nothing was off limits, she wanted to peel his boxers down and climb on top of him. She had a thought that he might come inside her and it sent a jolt to her clit. 

“Maybe” she said breathily “Maybe we should just both keep our clothes on, for now. I think that would be good.”

“Okay, clothes on. Does that mean this is okay?” 

He took his hand off her thigh and slid it under her shirt along her side. She started to squirm and giggle, so he pulled his hand away quickly. 

“No, no, that’s okay. Under the shirt is okay, I’m just really ticklish on my sides.” She grabbed his hand with hers and put it back under her shirt, this time on her belly. 

“I’ll remember that for future need” he said, running his knuckles up and down the midline of her stomach while returning his lips to hers in a few chaste kisses. He let his hand roam higher until he brushed the underside of her breast and she shivered. He kissed her more deeply and ran his thumb over her nipple, which was hard and tight. She arched her back a little and her breath hitched in her throat. He pulled his lips away so they were just resting on hers. “Do you like that?” He asked. 

“Yes” she said it in a near whimper, and he realized his erection was pressed hard against her thigh. She was rhythmically clenching her thighs around his top leg and her hips were making small circles against him. There was a very strong possibility he would come in his pants if she kept doing that. 

“To clarify, would it be okay if I put my mouth on your breasts? If your shirt is still technically on? It’s okay if you say no, I just wanted to ask.”

Her eyes rolled back in her head at the mere mention of his mouth on her. She knew it should be out of bounds, but she couldn’t bring herself to say that. 

“Yes” was all she could form the words for. 

He rolled her on to her back and put one leg on the bed between her thighs, the other outside of her legs, propping his elbows on either side of her head. First he kissed her lips, trailing over to her neck and the spot where it joined her shoulder that he remembered she liked. She was running her hands up and down his back, dipping into the back of his boxers to graze his ass and then back up to his shoulder blades. He brought one hand down to the hem of her t shirt and pushed it up to expose her left breast. He took a moment to stroke her skin and nipple with his fingertips, noticing the way she squirmed beneath him, before he left her neck and brought his lips to the tight, goose flesh skin there. He started by running his lips lightly over the bud and then flicked his tongue out to taste her, and she bucked her hips toward him. He lowered his body so that his upper thigh was pressed tightly between hers and ran the flat of his tongue roughly over her, and she gyrated against him with a tiny gasp. 

“Scully, can I ask you something else?” His voice was gravelly and syrupy at the same time. He moved over to her right breast. 

“Okay” she sighed as she pushed her hands into his hair, his tongue circling the perimeter of her areola. 

“If your shorts stayed on, but my hand was in them, would that be within bounds? It’s okay if the answer is no.”

She wanted so much to say yes, but she knew that all bets would be off if they went that far. She needed to draw the line here if it were going to be drawn at all. 

“I would really, really like to say yes to that, Mulder, but I don’t think I should.”

“Understood” he said without protest, and went back to suckling at her while rocking his hips against hers. 

She lay back and enjoyed the sensations, and for a moment she lost herself and felt the early stirrings of an orgasm. Then the thought of Mulder seeing her come brought her out of it, and she suddenly felt self-conscious. That ultimate loss of control was so vulnerable, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to go to that place with him. 

He noticed a change in her and paused, lifting his head to look at her. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked with genuine concern. 

“Yes, yes, it’s fine. Sorry, I just got into my own head.”

He pulled her shirt down and kissed his way back up to her neck, taking some time at that spot, before finding her lips again. The kisses were much less urgent now, both of them seeming to understand that they’d taken it as far as they should for the time being. Mulder rolled to his back and pulled her to rest her head on his chest, hands clasped together, her leg wrapped over his, as they’d become accustomed to sleeping. They were both quiet as they started to drift off. Suddenly Mulder spoke. 

“I realize this is crass, but I’m going to say it anyway.”

She scoffed a little laugh and then said “well, let’s hear it then”

“You just have absolutely fantastic boobs. Truly exquisite.”

Now she laughed her real, full throated laugh, which to him was the most beautiful sound in the world. 

“Thanks, Mulder.” She said without sarcasm. 

“No thank YOU.” And he gave her a little squeeze. They were both asleep a few minutes later.


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

In the morning, she woke to his lips on her neck. They were nestled together with him taking the role of big spoon. She smiled and wiggled back against him with a little hum. 

“Careful there, partner, sharp objects”

She chuckled and turned to face him, burying her face in his neck. 

“I’d kiss you, but, you know, morning breath.” Her words were hot on his skin. 

“I’d be willing to overlook it” he returned, sliding his hand up her back underneath her shirt. 

“That’s very kind of you, but I wouldn’t” she mirrored his move, slipping her hand into the back of his boxers. “Wait, actually, hold on” 

Removing her hand, she rolled away from him momentarily and opened her bedside drawer. Briefly, he entertained the idea that she was getting her vibrator, but that seemed very unlikely. When she turned back to him, she had two altoids in her hand. 

“Ta-da” she smiled, popping one into her mouth. He took the other and then pulled her back to him, sucking hard on it before capturing her lips in a kiss. “Mmm, minty” she mused. 

As they kissed, his hand found its way back underneath her shirt and hers ventured again just beyond the waistband of his boxers, teasing the skin of his lower back. He moved his hand from her back to her front and cupped her breast lightly, rolling the nipple between his thumb and index finger. She reflexively pressed her hips against him and felt his hardened cock poke into her belly. Feeling brazen and also painfully curious, she slid her fingers, which were just inside the elastic of his boxers, around his hip until they were in the thatch of curly hair trailing down his belly. He signed heavily, and she knew he wanted her to touch him, though he’d never ask. She thought briefly about whether he should first touch him over his boxers, but she was already basically there. She slid her hand in further, taking his bottom lip between her teeth at the same time. When she released his mouth, he spoke.

“Scully”

“mmmmm?” Now she was brushing her lips just beneath his ear. 

“Scully” His breath caught in his throat as she sucked at his earlobe. “I thought that was against regulation.”

“I make the rules, and I say it’s allowed, Mulder.”

“Does that mean I can touch you too?”

“Nope.” She spoke this right into his ear, and then slid her hand down further until she felt the silky skin of his erection against her fingertips. 

“Jesus. That hardly seems fair, Scully.”

She wrapped her fingers around his shaft and held them there briefly. He was thicker than she’d imagined. 

“To whom, exactly?”

“Fuck. To you, I guess?” He wasn’t going to be able to think straight much longer. 

“Ah, well, thank you for your concern, Mulder, but I assure you I am perfectly content.”

Now she gripped him in her fist and stroked up and down once, getting a feel for his size. Lengthwise, he was average, but in girth he was exceptional. She ran her thumb over his glans, spreading around the precum that had seeped from the tip. Of course she already knew that he was circumcised. Mulder dropped his head against her shoulder and groaned. 

“Scully, I have absolutely no confidence in my stamina. It’s been a while.”

She smiled and suppressed a laugh. Missy had taught her never to laugh at a man in bed. 

“It’s okay, Mulder, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

He lifted his head and kissed her deeply, her hand motionless on his dick. Bringing his lips to her neck, he said “You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this” and she was suddenly reconsidering her boundaries that prohibited him from touching her. It would be true if she told him that she’d imagined it too, countless times, but she felt embarrassed by the idea of sharing that, so instead she resumed her strokes, keeping them slow and languid while he nipped at her neck. When she picked up the pace, he moved his hips in response, thrusting into her hand. He was still holding her breast, but then pulled his hand from her shirt and moved it to her ass, squeezing and kneading as he ground against her. Her shorts rode up and his fingertips slipped underneath them, now on her bare ass and centimeters from her pussy. 

“God, I want to touch you so bad” he growled. 

“Not yet” 

“Mmm, you feel so good” 

She could tell by the way his movements were getting more frantic that he was probably close. Knowing she was about to make him come was thrilling and shocking at the same time. She wanted to do so many things; have him in her mouth, her pussy, maybe her ass? There would be time for that later, this was just the beginning. His fingers gripped her flesh and they were so close to where she knew she was soaking wet. Opening her palm and sliding it down his shaft, she cupped his balls and squeezed them gently, to which he responded “fuuuuuuuck.”

“I’ve never heard you swear so much, Mulder.” She teased. 

“That’s probably because you’ve never stuck your hand down my pants before.” he responded breathily, and then kissed her once before returning his face to her neck. He was beyond being coordinated enough for kissing. 

She wrapped her fist around him again and resumed long, firm strokes, every now and then slipping up over the head and twisting her wrist in a swirling motion. Each time she did that it earned her a low moan. She had always enjoyed the feeling of power she got from pleasing men sexually. She was in control, and could have made him come already if she wanted to, but she was drawing it out, knowing that his orgasm would be that much better the more she teased him close to the brink and then backed off. Just then she glanced over his shoulder and saw the time, realizing that they’d need to wrap this up soon if they were going to be on time for work. She started rotating her wrist in a swirling motion along the whole length of him and picked up the pace. He let out a small “oh” and then as she continued, a more drawn out “ohhhhhhh.” His body stiffened and he whispered “fuck, you’re gonna make me come.” And then he was coming, hot liquid running down her hand as he cried out once loudly, and then several more times, each one getting quieter as she continued to stroke him until he was no longer pulsing in her hand. He collapsed, spent, and she slipped her hand from his shorts before padding to the bathroom to grab a towel. When she returned, she tossed the towel onto his chest and sat beside him, running her hands through his hair. 

“I hate to tarnish your afterglow, but it’s 8.”

He cracked an eye and looked at her. “And?”

“And, it’s Monday. We have work, remember?”

He groaned and sat up, grabbing the towel and his jeans and heading into the bathroom. When he emerged, his boxers were in his hand and he went looking for his shirt. 

“It’s been a really long time since I’ve done the walk of shame, Scully. I think I need to borrow a purse to put my underwear in” he said, locating his shirt and pulling it over his head. She smiled at him sheepishly and he pounced back on to the bed, straddling her. She shrieked and then laughed as he peppered her with kisses. 

“Goodbye” he murmured into her neck, with all the emotion of a soldier headed to war.

“Mulder, I will literally see you in an hour, get out of here”

“Yeah, but then I can’t touch you, so I’m just getting it out of my system.”

“Goodbye, Mulder.” She pushed him away with a hand on his chest. 

He gave her a pretend wounded look and then smiled, leaving her sitting on the bed. She listened as he put on his shoes and coat and locked the door behind him, waiting a couple minutes before she was sure he was gone before she reached into her bedside drawer and grabbed her vibrator. Slipping off her shorts and panties, she touched her lips and was unsurprised to find them slick and swollen. Switching it on, she dipped it into her wetness and then held it against the side of her clit, recalling the feel of Mulder in her hand as he came, the grip of his fingers on her ass and the way his tongue felt against her nipples last night. She was so turned on that it wasn’t long before she felt a tingling down the backs of her legs and in her toes, and she flexed her feet to draw it out. Then she fell over the edge, her clit throbbing hard against the vibrator, and she slipped the fingers of her other hand into her pussy to make it last longer. She lay there a few minutes enjoying her own afterglow, and then got up, showered, and went to work.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

Mulder didn’t stop smiling the whole drive home. He showered and dressed in a dark grey suit and blue shirt with a shit-eating grin on his face the entire time. By the time he walked out the door, he had barely enough time to make it to the office by 9, but he decided to be late and stopped to get coffee. 

Scully was surprised when she walked in at 8:57 and Mulder wasn’t there yet. He always arrived before her, and while he had left her apartment only and hour before, she knew his morning routine took all of 8 minutes (thanks, patriarchy) and he should still have been able to make it in on time. She sat down at his desk and logged on to the computer to check her email, which was overflowing after being out for a week. She heard the familiar cadence of Mulder’s footsteps in the hall and smiled, then chastised herself for smiling and forced a neutral expression. He entered looking like he’d just returned from a Hawaiian vacation; relaxed and excited for the day, two cups of coffee in hand. When his eyes fell on her sitting at his desk, the most genuine, joyful smile spread across his face she was unable to suppress the urge to return it. Had anyone been in the room to witness it, they would easily identified the exchange as one of new lovers, elated to be together again after only a short time apart. 

“Hey” he offered, beaming. 

“Hi” she returned, her smile more secretive and knowing. 

He set a cup down in front of her and she thanked him before taking a sip. A look of surprise came to her face and she asked “fancy coffee, Mulder?”

He shrugged, still smiling “seemed like you deserved some fancy coffee this morning.”

Now she tucked her chin and averted her eyes, and he detected a slight blush in her cheeks. She felt embarrassed by the reference, and he knew it was going to be very important that he keep things during work hours as professional as possible, so he changed the subject. Sitting down at her desk, he sipped at his own black coffee and got down to business. 

“There are a couple cases that came up last week that Skinner wanted us to check out. Neither were time sensitive so he said it could wait until you were ready to come back. Take a look and let me know what you want to tackle first.”

“I can do that a bit later, I need to get caught up on email and I have to go see the staff psychologist at 11 to debrief after…what happened.”

“Right, of course. Well, there are a couple things Chuck wanted to show me so I think I’ll go over to the lab and geek out with him for a bit. Do your thing.” He rose to leave. 

Just as he was about to turn the corner out the door, Scully stopped him. “Mulder?”

“What’s up, G-Woman?”

She smiled a little at her infrequently used nickname. “Do you want to have lunch together, around noon?”

He kept his response measured, not wanting his enthusiasm to make her regret the offer. Bobbing his head slightly, he said “sure, sounds good” and then disappeared around the corner, his smile returning as soon as she knew he couldn’t see it. 

When she heard the ding of the elevator door closing, she leaned her head back against the chair, looking up at the pencil holes in the ceiling. She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, her mind wandering back to last night and this morning. She closed her eyes. How would he feel inside her? The thought made her clench her thighs tightly and she was surprised that she felt turned on again after having come this morning. 

“Scully?”

She jumped, opening her eyes to see Mulder standing at the door, looking at her with concern. 

“You okay?”

She laughed in embarrassment, though of course Mulder had no way to know what she’d been thinking about just now.”

“Yeah,” she said, a sheepish smile on her face. “Just spacing out, I guess.”

He eyed her skeptically and picked up a file from the top of his desk. Holding it up, he said “I forgot Chuck had asked me to bring this.”

She nodded, her lips pressed together like she was hiding something (which she was). 

Still with a bit of suspicion, Mulder left again, and this time he didn’t return until noon. 

*********************************************

As they gathered their things and prepared to leave the office that evening, Mulder was hatching a plan to spend another night at her apartment. He was thinking about which file he might be able to bring by later, to get a second opinion on (something he did often enough without ulterior motives that it wouldn’t seem contrived). Scully checked her watch. 

“ I need to head out, I’m going to my mothers for dinner”

“Oh yeah? Tell her I say hi.”

“I will.”

“What time will you be home?”

She paused with her coat halfway up her arms to consider the question, then resumed pulling it on, asking “why do you ask?”

Now it was his turn to pause and consider the answer. 

“Well, do you want the honest answer to that, or the fake one that makes me sound like less of a sap?”

“Let’s hear the fake one first.”

“I just want to call and make sure you’re home safe, given recent events.”

“Hm, that’s reasonable enough. What’s the honest answer then?”

“I wanna know what time to show up at your door under totally false pretenses.”

Her smile held a little more pity than he would have liked, but she wasn’t irritated, which was a win. 

“Mulder, at some point I will need to sleep alone, you know.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything. He should avoid appearing clingy. Someone as fiercely independent as Scully would be repelled by clinginess. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the coffee” she said, and squeezed his hand once before she left their office. That was like the Scully equivalent of a wink, he thought, and then he removed his coat and sat back down. If he wasn’t going to be spending the evening with her, he may as well spend it in the office.


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

Her mother had made chicken a la king and they chatted idly about work, church and family as they ate. Maggie had just finished telling her about a recent scandal involving an unwed mother and a priest when there was a long silence. Scully looked up at her mother and saw her waiting expectantly, and realized she had missed something. 

“Sorry, mom, what?”

Maggie smiled, smugly. “What’s on your mind, Dana? You seem distracted.”

“Nothing, I’m listening. Go ahead.”

“What’s new with you and Fox?”

Scully willed herself not to blush “what do you mean?”

“Well, several weeks ago you told me that he kissed you.”

“Yes, he did.”

“Well?”

“Well what, mom? What are you asking?”

“Are you two, a thing, or something?”

She opened her mouth to speak but realized she didn’t have the words and closed it. Maggie waited patiently for her to answer. 

“I don’t know that we’re ‘a thing’ necessarily but our relationship has certainly changed, as of late.”

“And when you say changed, you mean you’re having sex with him?”

“Mom!”

“What? Dana, you are 36 years old. And I know you’re not a virgin. I realize that I encouraged you to wait for marriage but believe it or not, your stuffy old mother is capable of accepting the fact that you might be sleeping with someone who is not your husband. So, are you?”

“No, mom, I have not had sex with him.” This statement was not one she ever imagined saying to her mother, and she wished very much that she could disappear. 

“Yet” Maggie completed the answer.

“Mom! What has gotten into you?!”

Maggie sighed and took time to think about what she wanted to say next. “Honey, I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for my children. I know you love your job, but I also know you love Fox.”

Scully started to speak but Maggie held up her hand to stop her and continued. 

“Don’t try to deny it, Dana, it’s painfully obvious. It’s also very clear that he returns that feeling. Your life may not include a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and a husband who’s home by 6, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have just as much joy and happiness as your brothers. I wish you could let your guard down a little and just enjoy yourself.”

Scully looked at the floor. She knew her mother was right. She had just spent so much time carefully building her reputation, her work ethic and her tough exterior. It was the only way she made it through the boys’ club of medical school and the academy intact. But now she had someone who she could really trust, open up to and be herself with, and she couldn’t tear down that wall all the way. She wanted to, but she didn’t know how.

“I know, mom. And I’m trying. It’s not easy to do.”

Maggie patted her on the knee. “Be patient with yourself, honey. Just don’t give up, okay?” 

“Okay, mom. Thanks.”

*********************************************

Scully arrived home at 8 to a red blinking light on her answering machine. She played it while she removed her coat and shoes and started the shower. 

“Hey, Scully. It’s me. Call me when you get home, will ya? I’ll sleep better if I know you made it back okay. And yes I realize I’m pathetic” BEEP. 

Smiling, she picked up the phone and dialed his number. It rang several times before his answering machine picked up. 

“Hi Mulder, I’m home. Sleep tight.” She hung up, keeping it short and sweet. Stepping into the shower, she felt inspired to shave her legs (including thighs), armpits, bikini line, the works. Being freshly shaved made her feel sexy and she was feeling quite sexy as of late. After she stepped out, she smoothed lotion over her body and put on her robe. As she walked into the kitchen for a glass of water, she saw that she had another new message; she must not have heard the phone over the sound of the shower. 

“Hey Scully. Sorry I missed your call, I was in the shower. I will have you know that while I am solidly committed to keeping my ass at home tonight, I have a very lengthy list of excuses to come over there. I’d tell you what they are, but then I can’t use them in future instances where I have less willpower on reserve than I do now. Anyway, you don’t have to call me back, but if you did I would would act nonchalant about it while secretly being delighted. Bye.”

She saved the message and admitted to herself that she was disappointed that he wasn’t coming by. She did want to see him, very much, but felt like she shouldn’t. Thinking back to what her mother had said, she asked herself why. Why was she trying so hard to stay away from him when she wanted to be with him? It wasn’t because she was afraid of overwhelming him; she knew that she could literally move into his apartment and he’d happily pay for the moving truck. He wanted to be with her, so it was truly only herself standing in her way. She got a glass of water and sat down on the couch to interrogate herself. What was the feeling that came up when she thought about giving in and spending every night sleeping in the same bed with Mulder? On one hand, that idea made her feel excited and safe, but something else was overpowering it. Fear. She felt afraid. Now she considered what she felt afraid of. Not that Mulder would hurt her, she knew that despite some of his missteps he cared about her more than he did anyone else on the planet, himself included. 

She went back to her exercise of thinking about the best and worst possible outcome, hoping that it would offer some clues. When she thought of the best outcome, it was full of tenderness and vulnerability and a sense of security that she had never actually experienced before. The idea that she could truly be herself and fully rely on another person, not working to maintain a carefully crafted façade of strength and independence, was as much of a fantasy as winning the Nobel peace prize for a scientific discovery that changes the course of humanity; fun to think about but very unlikely to ever happen. Even in past relationships that were very committed and serious, she always held something back. It was part of the reason her relationship with Ethan had ended; he wanted more from her that she wasn’t capable of giving. Her immersion in the X files, which brought frequent travel and a new partner for him to be jealous of, was just the final straw. They had been together close to two years and he told her that he felt like he didn’t know her, not really. She loved him, but not enough to let him have access to her truest self, the one that felt afraid and lonely and insecure. So they broke up, and here she was 7 years later wanting to show that side of herself to Mulder, but found that she couldn’t. Now she considered the worst case scenario; that she let him in and, what? He would leave her? He would take advantage of her? Those weren’t things she actually worried about; his dedication to her was steadfast. Her heart skipped a beat and sent a flush of warmth through her belly as she thought of the actual worst thing that could happen; he could die. And if she were to let herself go and be as close to him as she wants to be, that loss would effectively end her life as well. The idea of him dying made her nauseous and she took a sip of water, trying to calm it down. So that was it, then. She was afraid of making the loss of him hurt even more than it would now, if she lets herself get closer to him. But if she imagines herself in that situation (which she’d really rather not), were he to die tomorrow, would she be glad that she held back? Would it really make it easier to know that she never let himself love him in the way she wanted to? Probably not. It seems more likely that she’d regret not letting him love her, keeping him at arms length. 

She stood then, and went to her bedroom, tossing her robe on the bed and pulling on sweats and a long sleeve shirt. Next she put on her coat and tennis shoes, grabbing her purse and stowing her gun inside. Just before she walked out the door, she took a pen from a cup on her counter and tucked it into her coat pocket.


End file.
